Wipeout! Ozian Edition
by PocketSevens
Summary: It's that time America! What goes up must WIPEOUT as twenty-four Ozian contestants compete in the most insane obstacle course ever invented by man. Only one will become champion, but all will WIPEOUT! Crackfic.
1. WIPEOUT Qualifier

**A/N 09/03/2013 - Have you ever looked over one of your old stories and realize that you could have written parts of this better? Well...yep...that's what's happened here. Nothing new...just cleaning up some of the grammatical errors and filling in the missing pieces.**

**So, this was a cracfic plot bunny that would not go away so I bring it to you as a break from the everyday - what if that wonderful phenomenon called "Wipeout" came to Oz?**

**Like I said, crackfic!**

**I'd really like to hear your feedback on this one - does this format work? If it does, please please please please please review.**

**For those who watch Wipeout on a regular basis, you'll know a lot of these obstacles. For those that don't, I recommend you check out Youtube and look up the "Wipeout Smack Wall" or "Wipeout Big Balls". (If you look up "Wipeout Jacob Mann", not only will it show you the "Sucker Punch" wall and the "Big Balls", but you will see one of the all-time classic Wipeouts of all seasons.) **

**Disclaimers: I own neither Wicked nor Wipeout, and all contestants have signed the appropriate waivers. So, without further ado…**

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(Start theme…)

Announcer - It's that time America! What goes up must WIPEOUT!

_Unknown male - Whoooooo! Hey Mom! I'm on Wipeout!_

John Anderson – …and Wipeout they will as twenty-four contestants compete in the most insane obstacle course ever invented by man. You'll see amazing spills, sensational tumbles and spectacular falls. Only the best four contestants will compete in the greatest obstacle course of all...the "Wipeout Zone". The epic battle begins now. Only one will become champion, but all will WIPEOUT!

_Unknown Female - This is not dignified!_

(Theme ends with "Wipeout – Oz Edition" splash)

John Anderson – Hello America and welcome to a very special edition of Wipeout. I'm John Anderson and with me, as always, like my faithful dog Toto, John Henson.

John Henson – Uh wait, I'm the dog? Why can't I be the Scarecrow?

John Anderson – That's true: you are brainless, John.

John Henson – Just dancing through life, my friend. Anyway, as Anderson said, this is a very special edition of Wipeout as we are in the _Magical Land of Oz!_ (Excitedly) Can you believe it? I mean we're really in the magical Land of Oz! Can't you just feel the magic, Johnny?

John Anderson – (deadpan) Not in the slightest. Now, we have twenty-four Ozians who will face the most challenging obstacle course ever created.

John Henson – And of those twenty-four, only four will compete in the "Wipeout Zone" for fifty-thousand dollars. No matter if it's American or Ozian dollars, fifty-thousand is still a lot of cash.

John Anderson – Indeed it is, but before they can dash for the cash, they need to get past our Wipeout qualifier…

(Fly-by of "Qualifier")

John Anderson – First up, the Smack Wall!

John Henson – Now surrounded by magical Ozian mud.

John Anderson – Next, it's the Sucker Punch.

John Henson – Ah, yes, those flying fists of magical fury.

John Anderson – After that, it's the Big Balls with our swinging Motivator!

John Henson – Wait too long and the Motivator will make you fly, my pretty!

John Anderson – Then it's over to the Shake-o-lator...

John Henson - That'll shake the wicked out of you.

John Anderson - ...and finally, the Shape Shifter.

(Scene back to hosts.)

John Anderson – Now, only the twelve fastest times will get past the qualifier and move on to the next round.

John Henson – (inhales deeply and smiles) Ah, I can sense it all now.

John Anderson – Magic?

John Henson – Nope…wipeouts!

John Anderson – Then, without further ado, let's welcome our first contestant…

(Scene changes to top of course.)

Boq – Whoooooo! Hey Mom! I'm on Wipeout!

John Henson – Uh, John, I thought we didn't allow kids on the course.

John Anderson – He's not a kid, John; he's a Munchkin - they just happen to come that short. That's 24 year old Boq Riddle. Our third member of the Wipeout team, Jill Wagner, had a chance to catch up with the little guy.

Jill – (looking around) Boq? Where are you? I can't see you…

Boq – (Not amused) I'm not _that _short, Jill!

Jill – (looks down) Oh, _there _you are.

John Henson – Awww, don't hurt the little kid's feelings, Jill.

John Anderson – He's not a kid: he's _24_.

John Henson – Really? Are you sure? Did you make sure he's not using a fake id?

(Horn sounds)

John Anderson – And the little Munchkin is off and running. First up…the Smack Wall. Contestants must run along the platform along this wall while avoiding the two sets of sweeper arms.

John Henson – So, why _is _it called a "Smack Wall", John?

(Top part of Wall swings out smacking Boq in the face)

Boq – (SMACK!) Whaaaa…(SPLASH!)

John Anderson – That's why, John.

John Henson – The Smack Wall doesn't discriminate – it will knock anybody and everybody into the mud.

John Anderson – So Boq will climb up the stairs to tackle the second half of the Smack Wall…

Boq – (Wall swings out…)(SMACK!) Oof…(SPLASH!)

John Anderson – Wow! Head over heels, spinning into the mud! Spectacular wipeout!

John Henson – Oh look…a flying Munchkin.

John Anderson – Now over to the Sucker Punch Wall. Boq ducks and weaves along the wall…

(DING!) (SPLASH!)

John Henson – Oooh! Takes a punch right to the "little munchkin". He'll be feeling that one for a while.

Boq – (panting) And now the Big Balls…

John Anderson – Boq makes his way up the ramp to the Big Balls.

Boq – (jump) (Bounce) (Plaff!) Whaaaa…! (SPLASH!)

Jill – (Winces and turns away) Oh!

John Henson – Oh is right Jill! Boq jumps awkwardly onto the first Big Ball landing face first into the second ball and accomplishes something no other Munchkin in Oz has ever done.

John Anderson – What's that?

John Henson – Hitting his head with his feet.

John Anderson – Now over to the Shake-o-lator. Boq jumps on…

Boq – (Being shaken violently by the Shake-o-lator) This is crazy!

John Henson – No, crazy was agreeing to coming onto Wipeout in the first place.

John Anderson – Making his way to the other side of the Shake-o-lator. All he needs to do is jump from onto the platform on the other side…

Boq – (PLAF!) Oof! (SPLASH!)

Jill – Ooooh…so close!

John Anderson – And last but not least, the Shape Shifter. Contestants must jump off of a diving board through the rotating cutouts. They must jump through the triangle, circle or square onto the landing platform on the other side to stop the clock. If they fail to jump through and land in the water, they must swim to the alternate finishing area to stop the clock. Boq is now standing on the diving board. Getting ready to jump…

Boq – (PLAFF!) Uuuugh! (SPLASH!)

John Anderson – …not even close.

John Henson – Face first into the spinning drum - luckily we padded it or that may have actually hurt.

John Anderson – Even so, Boq _still_ finishes with a respectable time of just over four minutes.

Boq – (standing on platform) (Wearily) Yay. I made it.

John Henson – Give the kid a merit badge for finishing.

John Anderson – Returning back to the top of the course…

John Henson – Whoa, that's a lot of pink!

Galinda – Hello Wipeout! It's great to see me, isn't it?

John Anderson – That, clad in all that pink poofinees, is 23 year old Galinda Upland. Jill got the scoop on her earlier.

Jill – Hey guys, I'm here with Miss Galinda Upland and I have to say: wow, that's a lot of pink.

Galinda – (beeming) Why thank you!

Jill – Pink dress, pink eyeshadow, pink lips, pink shoes…how many pink items do you own?

Galinda – Ummm…(thinking)…

John Henson – This might take a while.

(Ding.)

Galinda – Seven hundred and fifty-two.

Jill – Wow! You really like pink!

Galinda – Of course. Even my underwear is pink!

Jill - …

John Henson – OK, that was _waaaaay _too much information.

(Horn sounds)

John Anderson – Our pink monstrosity is off and going to face the Smack Wall.

John Henson – She has no idea what's coming, does she?

Galinda – (SMACK!) (Squeal!) (SPLASH!)

John Anderson – (deadpan) Not in the least!

John Henson – Right into the mud that has magical properties.

John Anderson - Really? How so?

John Henson - Well, it turns the color of any clothing into brown.

Galinda – Ugh! Yuck!

John Anderson – Unfortunately for Galinda, pink does _not _go with brown. Let's fast forward as Galinda makes her way to the Big Balls.

Galinda – Oh, you're _kidding_, right?

John Anderson – No, we are not.

John Henson – Uh John, is she just standing there?

(Motivator starts)

John Anderson – As a matter of fact, John, she _is_. Perhaps some motivation?

Galinda – (looks back to see Motivator coming) Oh sh(censored)...(bounce) (SCREAM!) (SPLASH!)

John Henson – Oh man! Galinda get's her _pink_ behind motivated right onto the red balls! That'll burst her bubble. Now, let's see how she does on the Shake-o-lator. How do you think she'll do, John?

Galinda – (jumps on Shake-o-lator) (shaking violently) Whoa…whoa…whaaaaa…(SPLASH!)

John Anderson – (deadpan) Not very well.

John Henson – Even the Shake-o-lator can't stand all of that pink. It's like, "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"

John Anderson – Now running up to the Shape Shifter, let's see how she does it.

Galinda – (running) (jump) Yeaaaaaaa…OOF!

Jill – WHOA!

John Anderson – Unbelievable! She did it! Right through the square cutout onto the platform on the other side, stopping the clock at three minutes, forty nine seconds!

Galinda – (jumping up and down) WHOO HOO!

John Henson – Who says you can't put a pink peg through a square hole?

John Anderson – Her name's Galinda, not Peg.

John Henson – Whatever. Who's next?

John Anderson – Approaching the Smack Wall now is the Wonderful Wizard himself, 67 year old Oscar Diggs.

Oscar – (SMACK!) Aaaaaah… (SPLASH!)

John Henson – I'm thinking he doesn't find our Smack Wall so wonderful, Johnny.

John Anderson – Not too many people like our Smack Wall, John.

John Henson – Ooooh, is it montage time?

John Anderson – Yes, John, it is. Here's Shenshen approaching the Smack Wall…

(SMACK!)

Shenshen – (YELP!) (SPLASH)

John Henson – Shenshen go bye bye.

Avaric – Go! Go! Go! (SMACK!) (SPLASH!)

John Henson – Stop! Stop! Stop!

Shell – Yes! (SMACK!)

John Anderson – Uh…no.

John Henson – Totally Shell-shocked!

Pfannee – (Dodges moving walls)

John Henson – She…could…go…all…the…way…

(SMACK!)

Pfannee – Whaaa…(SPLASH!)

John Anderson – …or not.

John Henson – I'm LOVING this Smack Wall, John! The beauty is in the design: see, two sweeper arms here (graphic of circle around one sweeper arm) and here (graphic of circle over the other) make the contestant look here (arrow towards sweeper arms) when they should be looking…

Chuffery – (SMACK!) Augh… (SPLASH!)

John Henson – …there.

John Anderson – Now approaching the Big Balls is Shenshen Chuan. Jill spoke with her earlier.

Jill - Shenshen, welcome to Wipeout.

Shenshen - (jumping up and down) Thanks. I'm so excited to be here! This is so totally cool.

Jill - So...

Shenshen - You know my best friend, Galinda, who's rooming with that totally hideous snake for a roommate...

Jill - Uh...

Shenshen - ...she suggested we all come, but she didn't think that I could handle the course, but I wanted to come and prove her wrong, and then shove the fifty thousand dollars in her face and say, "Take that Galinda Upland!"

Jill - ...

John Anderson - You know, John, I never thought I'd meet anybody more annoying that you.

John Henson - Yeah, even _I'm _annoyed, and that's saying something.

John Anderson - Let's see how Annoying Shenshen does on the Big Balls.

Shenshen - (Bounce) (PLAF!) (CRACK!) Aaaaaa...(SPLASH)

John Anderson - Wow! Off of the first Big Ball and face first into the second!

John Henson - Yeah, thank goodness she was so flexible that it really didn't hurt when her head and feet met in the same place.

John Anderson – Now let's meet 67 year old Helena Morrible. Says here she was a former headmistress for Shiz University. Let's get more from Jill.

Jill – So, Helena…

Morrible – (sternly) That will be _Madame Morrible _to you, deary!

Jill – (surprised) Uh, yes, Madame Morrible.

Morrible – And stand up straight! No slouching. Did they not teach you _anything_ in school?

John Henson – Ugh...she sounds just like my high school principal.

John Anderson – She sounds just like _everybody's _high school principal.

Jill – Uh…(looking for a distraction - sees rain clouds) Oh look, it's going to rain.

Morrible – (waves hands – sun comes out) Don't worry, my dear - weather is my specialty.

John Henson – OK, now I'm officially creeped out.

John Anderson – Well, let's see how "Morrible the Horrible" does on the Shake-o-lator.

Morrible – (jumps on) (Shake-o-lator starts shaking violently) (bangs head on side of Shake-o-lator) Ow! This is not dignified!

John Anderson – Morrible complaining loudly as she makes her way across.

Morrible – (slips) Oh Oz! (SPLASH!)

John Henson - …and into the water! I wonder if she'll melt.

John Anderson – We can only hope. Now over to the Shape Shifter.

Morrible – (incredulously) Do you _seriously_ expect me to jump through this?

Jill – Absolutely, _Madame _Morrible.

John Anderson – An unimpressed Helena now ready to jump through the Shape Shifter…

Morrible – (PLAF!) (SCREAM!) (SPLASH!)

Jill – (laughs then faces camera) Welcome to the school of Wipeout where _I _am the headmistress.

John Anderson – Even with that horrible wipeout, "Morrible the Horrible" finishes with a time just a second shy of five minutes.

John Henson – I don't mind telling you this, John, but she still creeps me out.

John Anderson – Let's go back at the top of the course where we have the Prince of the Vinkus himself: Fiyero Tiggular. Jill caught up with him earlier.

Jill – (dreamy) Hi.

Fiyero – (nervous) Uh, hi.

Jill – (still dreamy – shakes hands) I'm Jill.

Fiyero – (still nervous) Uh, hi Jill – I'm Fiyero.

Jill – (still dreamy) (starts singing off key) _Hands touch…eyes meet…_

John Anderson – John, I think we've lost her.

John Henson – (covering his ears) Please, make it stop!

John Anderson – What? The whole romantic moment going on down there? Jill's fangirl crush?

John Henson – NO! JILL'S SINGING! I can't take it.

John Anderson – While Jill is still dreaming about her Prince Charming, Fiyero is coming up to the Smack Wall.

Fiyero – OK, over the sweeper arms…

John Henson – Oh, this is not going to end well…

(SMACK!) (SPLASH!)

John Henson – Our Dreamy Prince Charming learns the rule of physics that states two solid objects, such as the Smack Wall and his face, cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

John Anderson – Well, John, he's going to learn that lesson again as he approaches the second half of the Smack wall.

Fiyero – (ducks down under moving wall) HA!

John Anderson– Is he ducking under the top part of the wall?

John Henson – Yes he is. Should we should tell him that…

Fiyero – (SMACK!) WHOA! (SPLASH!)

John Henson– …the bottom half swings out as well?

John Anderson – Nah, he'll figure it out soon enough. Anyway, Fiyero is out of the mud and over to the sucker punch wall.

John Henson – It says here that he's taken military training and martial arts since he was a kid.

John Anderson – Let's see if it pays off here. Fiyero doing everything to dodge those gloves…

Fiyero – (SMACK!)

John Henson – Oooh! Takes a hit to the head but manages to hang on!

John Anderson – Fiyero taking punches all over but making it off of the Sucker Punch wall without falling into the mud! Amazing. Now he's up to the Big Balls.

Fiyero – Oh, I've got this!

John Henson – We'll see, Mister "Prince Charming".

John Anderson – Fiyero, jumping onto the first ball…

Fiyero – (Bounce) (Bounce) (Bounce) (Bounce) YES!

John Henson – Amazing! He's the first one today to make it completely across the Big Balls!

Jill – (still dreamy) Oh wow! Isn't he so dreamy?

John Anderson – …and we've still lost Jill.

John Henson – At least she's not singing anymore.

Jill – (Annoyed) What? Is Henson making fun of my singing?

John Henson – Yes, Jill, I am. Trust me: you're no Idina Menzel.

John Anderson – Ooookay. Now over to the Shake-o-lator…

Fiyero – (jumps on) (Shake-o-lator shaking violently)

John Henson – (sarcastically) Oh look, Prince Charming is hanging on, making his way across. I hope he wipes out as he tries to jump over to the platform on the other side…

Fiyero – (slip!) (PLAF!) Aaaah! (SPLASH!)

Jill – (Winces) Oh!

John Anderson – Looks like you got your wish John.

John Henson – Yeah. TAKE THAT PRINCE CHARMING!

John Anderson – Finally, the Shape Shifter. Prince Fiyero gets on the diving board and…

Fiyero – (PLAF!) (SPLASH!)

Jill – Darn. He's still cute though.

John Anderson – Fiyero still manages to post a time of three minutes, five seconds, which is the fastest time today.

John Henson – Ugh, I hate guys like that. They always seem to get the pretty girls in school.

John Anderson – Old memories coming back to haunt you John?

John Henson – (looks down) Yeah. (Sniff) Hold me.

John Anderson – …no. Let's just meet our final contestant.

(Top of course)

Elphaba – (looking over the course) I must be nuts!

John Henson – (panicked) Oh my goodness! She's gone green! Is she ok? She's not sick is she?

John Anderson – John, relax, that is 25 year old Elphaba Thropp. Jill got the scoop about her verdigris.

John Henson - Her verdiwhat?

John Anderson - Her green skin.

John Henson - Oh.

Jill – Guys, I'm with Miss Elphaba Thropp. Elphaba, it's good to meet you. Welcome to Wipeout.

Elphaba – Thank you.

Jill – So, obvious question: you're green?

Elphaba – (deadpan) Thank you Captain Obvious.

Jill – Oh, don't worry, I think it's cool.

Elphaba – (surprised) Really?

Jill – Really!

Elphaba – (smiling) Thanks.

Jill – Say, do you think I'd look good with green skin? We could be sisters!

Elphaba – That's true! We could!

(closeup as Jill and Elphaba stand side-by-side smiling – graphic artists change Jill's face color to green)

John Henson – (sarcastic) Oh yeah, they'd be seen as sisters. I can see the resemblance.

(Horn sounds)

John Anderson – Well, let's see if successfully facing the Smack Wall runs in the family.

Elphaba – (SMACK!) (SPLASH!) Ow!

John Henson – Apparently not.

John Anderson – Well, she gets another shot at is as he climbs the stairs to the second half of the Smack Wall.

Elphaba – (ducks swinging wall) HA!

(PLAF – into another swinging section of the wall)

Elphaba – Ugh! (SPLASH!)

John Anderson – Oh man! She did NOT see that coming.

John Henson – Yes, the Smack Wall was specially designed to inflict as much pain as possible.

John Anderson – Our "Green Girl" makes her way to the Sucker Punch wall.

Elphaba – (SMACK!) (SPLASH!)

John Henson – Wow. She takes a shot to the head knocking her into the mud. After this, she'll be more black and blue than green.

John Anderson – Elphie now walking up the ramp to the Big Balls.

John Henson – Fly, my pretty! Fly!

Elphaba – (Bounce) (PLAF!) Aaaaah… (SPLASH!)

John Anderson – Ouch…she went flying all right…right off of that second Big Ball.

John Henson – Yes, our green friend just learned she cannot defy gravity this time!

John Anderson – Now Elphaba makes it over to the Shake-o-lator.

Elphaba – (jumps on) (Shake-o-lator shaking violently) Oh this is impossible!

John Henson – That's how we designed it. Impossible is our motto.

John Anderson – Elphaba making her way to the other side. Can she make it across?

Elphaba – (plaf) Oof. (Jumps up on platform) YES!

John Henson – Amazing! She's the only one to make it off the Shake-o-lator successfully.

John Anderson – Well, success is a fleeting thing as she now faces the Shape Shifter.

Jill – (To Elphaba) You go sister!

Elphaba – (jumps into the circle lading halfway in the middle) Uh oh!

John Henson – Uh oh is right as she's going for a ride…

(SPLASH!)

John Henson – …aaaaaaaaand into the water.

John Anderson – However, Elphaba "The Green Girl" Thropp finishes with a time of four minutes, fifteen seconds, which moves her to the next round. Also moving on are eleven more contestants, including Galinda "Pretty in Pink" Upland, "The Wonderful Wizard" Oscar Diggs, and "Dreamy Prince Charming" Fiyero Tiggular.

John Henson – Also moving on are Boq "The Munchkin" Riddle, Helena Morrible "the Horrible", and "Annoying" Shenshen Chuan.

John Anderson – Stay tuned as, after the break, we trim this field of twelve into six.

John Henson – Oh, and folks, the producers of the show would like your feedback. So, be kind…please review.


	2. Eliminator Round

**A/N – A huge HUGE "THANK YOU!" and shout-out to RainbowAquila, Leia Emberblaze and werewolf-in-training for your reviews. Your reviews made me very happy! Rainbow – I have incorporated your suggestions in this chapter. Oh, and DD is now part of this chapter as per your request. :)**

**If you've watched "Wipeout!" at all, you'll notice that, when they go to and come back from commercials, they only introduce some (but not all) of the contestants that move to the second round. So, to keep with how Wipeout does their intros, you'll see other contestants in this round introduced that weren't mentioned at the end of the previous round. **

**For those who haven't seen Wipeout, I highly recommend going to "YouTube" to research the obstacle listed in this chapter (not going to tell you what it is…I want it to be a surprise).**

**Oh, and for the Wipeout ****affictionatos****: yes, normally Jill is not around with this obstacle but I'm making an exception. :)  
**

**Disclaimer: As always, I own neither Wicked nor Wipeout.**

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(Start into – display "Wipeout – In The Land of Oz" graphic…)

John Anderson – Welcome back to Wipeout…

John Henson – …the show that demonstrates just how flexible the human body can be. You would be surprised.

John Anderson – Our Qualifier has worked its magic in cutting our field of twenty-four contestants in half. Those moving on from the Qualifier include Boq "The Munchkin" Riddle, Galinda "Pretty in Pink" Upland, "Dreamy Prince Charming" Fiyero Tiggular…

Fangirls – (swoon)

John Anderson - …and Elphaba "The Green Girl" Thropp.

John Henson – Also moving on to the second round are "The Goat" Dr. Dillamond, "Annoying" Shen Shen Chuan, and "Creepy Headmistress" Helena Morrible.

John Anderson – Now John, if I mention the movie "Casablanca", what would you say?

John Henson – Oh, it's a classic film John – one of my favorites.

John Anderson – OK. How about, "Gone With the Wind"?

John Henson – Also a classic.

John Anderson – "The Godfather"?

John Henson – Classic.

John Anderson – How about "The Wizard of Oz"?

John Henson – (angrily) LIES! LIES, I TELL YOU, TO DEFAME THE NAME OF THE WOMAN FIGHTING FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE ANIMALS OF OZ TO BE EQUAL CITIZENS (calmly) but it's still a classic.

John Anderson – …thank you for _finally_ getting to my point. We love the classics here at Wipeout, so…we've brought back a classic obstacle.

John Henson – (excitedly) NO!

John Anderson – Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back… the GYRO SWEEPER!

John Henson – (excitedly) AWESOME!

John Anderson – Here's how it works: contestants stand on ten foot high pedestals while the sweeper arm moves in a circular motion. Contestants will have to jump over the sweeper arm lest they be swept into the water below.

John Henson – And, as with all great classics, there's a twist to this story. The sweeper arm is attached to a gyro mechanism which, when we throw the switch, allows the arm to gyrate in a circular motion as well. Contestants will then have to time it _just right_ to either jump _or_ duck under the sweeper arm. Aaaaand…to make matters even more interesting, as the contest goes on, the sweeper arm goes faster and faster.

John Anderson – The last six contestants standing will move on to the next round and the _final_ contestant standing will receive a thousand dollar bonus.

John Henson – What can I say? It's the stuff that dreams are made of, Johnny.

John Anderson – Then let's begin, shall we?

(Change scene to contestants on pedestals.)

Galinda – WOO HOO!

Boq – Let's get this party started!

Fiyero – Let's go!

Shen Shen – Oh my Oz! It's so high up here!

John Henson – Oh boy. Shen Shen's only been up there for a few seconds and already she's complaining.

John Anderson – Hey Jill, does Galinda look different to you?

Jill – Hey guys, I think Galinda got changed during the break.

Galinda – Well, of COURSE I got changed – the other outfit was dirty!

Jill – How many clothes did you bring?

Fiyero – Three suitcases worth!

Elphaba – Sigh (facepalm)… (sarcastic) ladies and gentlemen, presenting my high-maintenance roommate.

John Henson – And you thought _I _was high maintenance?

John Anderson – I will never say that about you again, my friend.

Boq – Hey guys: a thousand bucks on the line! What would you do with one thousand dollars?

Fiyero – Have the most swankified party around.

Boq – (muttering to himself) Go figure.

Galinda – Take Elphie out for a makeover!

Elphaba – (shocked) NO! Really, that's fine! You don't have to do that!

John Henson – Oy vey, I bet _that_ would be torture. Would pink go good with green?

John Anderson – I'm guessing that depends on who you ask. Well, we're just about set here. How are things looking Jill? (silence) Jill?

Jill – (staring at Fiyero) I can't take my eyes off of him! He's so sexy!

Galinda – Watch it, chick! Keep your eyes off of my boyfriend!

John Anderson – Uh oh, I think Jill's getting caught up in a love triangle…

Elphaba – (Surprised) _Your _boyfriend?

John Henson – …I think it just became a love square, John! I think that's our cue to start the sweeper.

**(Horn Sounds)**

John Anderson – The horn sounds to signal that the round is underway. First up, Helena Morrible…

Morrible – (Jumps with arms extended and floats down to pedestal.) Ha ha!

John Henson – Did she just float down onto the pedestal?

John Anderson – I believe she did. However, the sweeper arm keeps going. The Wizard makes the jump, so does Avaric, Phannee, Doctor Dillamond, "Annoying" Shen Shen, Galinda in all that pink poofiness, Elphaba, Fiyero, and Boq who, despite his height disadvantage, cleared the sweeper arm with ease.

John Henson – Not bad – everybody made their first jump.

John Anderson – Sweeper arm making its second pass. Morrible jumps…

Morrible – (Jumps again with arms extended.)

John Anderson – And again she floats back down to the pedestal.

John Henson – She's facing this round of competition with grace, poise and dignity – not like the last round…

_(flashback) Morrible - (bangs head on side of Shake-o-lator) Ow! This is not dignified!_

John Anderson – Don't worry John. We here at Wipeout design our obstacles to make sure that dignity goes out the window. So far, the sweeper has made a few passes and nobody has fallen.

John Henson – Time to speed up the sweeper arm.

Boq – Oh Oz, it's starting to go a little faster now.

Avaric – You guys watch out! Here it comes! (looks at Elphaba) Especially you Greenie!

John Henson – Now that's not nice, Avaric.

John Anderson – He should really be worrying about that approaching sweeper arm…

Elphaba – Ahem…(pointing towards sweeper arm with wicked grin)

Avaric – What? **(****WHACK****!) **Whaaaaaa! **(SPLASH!)**

Elphaba – (starts cackling)

John Anderson – Oh and justice is served! The sweeper arm takes out Avaric with a spinning wipeout.

John Henson – Avaric was too busy looking back taunting Elphaba that he didn't see the sweeper arm heading towards him. I guess he looked back at, saw green, and thought it meant go…right into the water.

Phannee – **(WHACK!)** Aaaaaah…**(SPLASH!)**

John Anderson – And Phannee gets eliminated from the competition! We are now down to ten…

Doctor Dillamond – **(WHACK!) (SPLASH!)**

John Anderson – …nine contestants! Doctor Dillamond is knocked out too!

John Henson – Yes, first Phannee has her "phanny" knocked right into the water, and then the good Doctor looks like the goat as he is taken out by the sweeper arm. That was a baaaaaaaaaad wipeout.

John Anderson – Sweeper arm speeding up some more…

Morrible – (Jumps again with arms extended.)

John Anderson – And Morrible jumps but _again_ floats back down onto the pedestal.

Jill – Guys, that's got to be against the rules.

John Henson – Well, I just checked the official "Wipeout Sweeper" rule book, and sorry – there's nothing in here that forbids the use of magic. I guess we'll have to rely on the Gyro action of the sweeper arm. John, may I flip the switch?

John Anderson – Please do.

(Gyro arm starts rotating)

Elphaba – Oh boy!

Fiyero – Oh it's going to be fun now!

Boq – (pointing to rotating sweeper) Oh, tricky one! Tricky one!

John Anderson – Here at Wipeout, we support tricky obstacles. Now contestants need to determine if they duck under or jump over the sweeper arm. Everybody doing good so far…

Oscar – **(WHACK!) **Aaah…** (CRUNCH!)** **(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – Oh! The Wizard gets knocked off of _his_ pedestal right into the pedestal behind him and into the water. He won't be feeling so Wonderful after that wipeout.

John Anderson – Oscar "The Wizard" is gone from the competition. Eight contestants standing…

Two More Unknown Contestants – **(WHACK!)(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – …and two more contestants are gone!

John Anderson – Who were they John?

John Henson – I don't know…the author was too lazy to give them names.

**(Horn sounds)**

John Anderson – And the horn sounds to indicate we are down to our final six who are moving on to the next round!

Boq – YEAH!

Galinda – WOO HOO! We made it!

John Anderson – Well, Galinda is happy…

Fiyero – A thousand bucks, baby!

John Anderson – ...Fiyero has his eye on the thousand dollar bonus…

Morrible – (scowl)

John Henson – ...and Morrible is still creepy.

John Anderson – Sweeper arm making its way around…

Morrible – (jump) Ha ha!

Shen Shen – (jump) Woo hoo!

Galinda – (duck) Yes!

Elphaba – (duck) HA!

Fiyero – (jump) Yeah!

Boq – (jump) WHOO!

John Henson – Wow, John. This competition is tight. Nobody wants to give up.

John Anderson – …not with a thousand bucks on the line. Sweeper comes around again, starting to move upwards, but Morrible jumps…

Morrible – **(WHACK!) **Oh!** (PLAF!)** Buh...**(SPLASH!)**

Elphaba, Shen Shen, Galinda, Boq, Fiyero – (Cringes) OOOW!

Galinda – (Winces) OH! How horrificated!

Jill – (Winces and turns away!) OOOOOOOH! That's gotta hurt!

John Henson – OH MAN! We've _got _to see that one again!

John Anderson – A HORRIBLE Wipeout! Morrible jumped just as the sweeper arm stared moving up, catching her legs, causing her to face-plant right into the pedestal!

John Henson – Yeah, Morrible definitely left an impression on the course…with her face.

Jill – (Running over to pool) Madame Morrible! Are you OK?

Morrible – (Slowly climbing out of pool) Well, _that _wasn't so dignified, was it?

John Henson – Look at the bright side, John: that wipeout won't affect her sunny disposition…since she didn't have one in the first place.

John Anderson – Five contestants are left: "Annoying" Shen Shen, "Pretty in Pink" Galinda, "Green Girl" Elphaba, "Prince Charming" Fiyero, and "The Munchkin" Boq. Galinda makes it over the bar, Elphaba ducks and makes it. Fiyero makes it over…

Boq – (duck) **(BONK!)** Ow!

John Anderson – Boq gets knocked by the sweeper arm, hanging on for dear life…

Fiyero – …AND HE SAVES IT! Way to go, Boq!

John Anderson – …but manages to hang on and stay alive!

Galinda – WHOO!

Boq – (Bows) Thank you! Thank you!

John Anderson – Sweeper moving faster now as Shen Shen makes it over…

Galinda – **(PLAF!) **Nooo…

Elphaba – NO! GALINDA! **(PLAF!)**

Both – Whaaaaaaa…**(SPLASH!) (SPLASH!)**

John Henson – WOW! A double takeout!

John Anderson – Galinda jumped when she should have ducked, catching the sweeper arm in her mid-section and getting carried by the sweeper arm right into her roommate Elphaba!

John Henson - Yeah, knocking them both into the water. My guess is Elphaba will be loathing her for that wipeout.

Shen Shen – Oh man it's so fast!

John Anderson – "Annoying" Shen Shen getting annoyed by the speed of the sweeper arm as it passes by. Our last three contestants – Boq "The Munchkin", "Dreamy Prince" Fiyero, and "Annoying" Shen Shen – are doing everything they can to win that thousand dollar bonus.

Fiyero – (Jump) Boo-yah!

Shen Shen – Come on! Fall already!

Fiyero – Not a chance! Boq?

Boq – (duck) No way man! Not happening!

John Henson – Seems to be a little trash talking going on down there John.

John Anderson – Well, if you can't say anything nice…

Shen Shen – (jump) … (grabs butt) I've got to fix my wedgie!

John Anderson – …OK, sure, fix your wedgie.

Boq – (sarcastic) Thanks for sharing!

John Anderson – Sweeper arm coming around again…

Fiyero – **(WHACK!)** Uugh! **(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – Oh! And "Prince Charming" Fiyero gets taken out by the sweeper arm...much to the chagrin of fangirls everywhere…

Jill – Aw.

John Henson – …including Jill.

Shen Shen – Just you and me, Munchkin! Just you…and me!

Boq – Come on, Shen! Let's see what you've got!

John Anderson – We're down to our final two contestants. I say it's time to crank it up, John.

John Henson – With pleasure.

(Sweeper arm moves faster)

Shen Shen – (jumps) Yeah!

Boq – (Jumps) **(WHACK!) **Oh! **(PLAF!)**

John Henson – Oh, Boq gets tripped up by the sweeper arm, landing on the pedestal on his stomach…

Shen Shen – Yeah! Fall!

John Henson – …but manages to hold on _again_! Amazing! He is _not _giving up.

Shen Shen – Aw! I had you!

Boq – (smiling) I'm not going down that easy! No way!

John Anderson – Boq showing some more confidence as the contest wears on. Sweeper coming up to Shen Shen…

Shen Shen – **(WHACK!) **SQUEAL! **(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – Oh and Shen Shen eats it big time with a huge spinning Wipeout!

John Anderson – Which means Boq "The Munchkin" Riddle wins the thousand dollar bonus!

Boq – YEAAAAAAAAAAAH! WOO HOO!

John Henson – Uh Boq, the Sweeper arm is still moving!

Boq – YE…Oh sh(censored)! **(WHACK!)** **(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – Well, Boq is not only our thousand dollar winner, but also the winner of that fresh, new, shiny bruise.

John Anderson – Anyway, he will be moving on to the next round, along with "Annoying" Shen Shen Chuan, "Creepy Headmistress" Helena Morrible, Galinda "Pretty in Pink" Upland, "Dreamy Prince Charming" Fiyero Tiggular, and Elphaba "The Green Girl" Thropp.

John Henson – Stick around, because after the break, there will be more Wipeouts to come!


	3. Road To The Final Four

**A/N – A HUGE shout out to: RainbowAquila, Elilives4ever, WickedObsessed22, Leia Emberblaze, Whitemermage and werewolf-in-training. Thanks so much for your reviews!**

**Again, for those who haven't seen Wipeout, I highly recommend going to "Youtube" to research the obstacle listed in this chapter. Also, see if you can spot the small reference from "The Police". :)  
**

**Disclaimer: This is Fanfic...why would I own anything?  
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(Start into – display "Wipeout – In The Land of Oz" graphic…)

John Anderson – Welcome back to our Oztastic edition of Wipeout…

John Henson – …where we are the Wizards of Wipeout and the Kings of Pain.

John Anderson – We are in the Land of Oz, and when I say "Oz", I don't mean Australia – I'm talking _the_ magical Land of Oz.

John Henson – The sights, the sounds…all those things that you may have read in a book or seen in the movies…if you thought they were just stories: oh no, my friends - it's all real.

John Anderson – As a matter of fact, Jill, John, and I took a tour of the Emerald City earlier in the week.

_(Start video)_

_John Anderson – We are here in the famous Emerald City!_

_Jill – Wow! It's so beautiful._

_John Henson – It's so green!_

_Chorus – ONE SHORT DAY IN THE EMERALD CITY…_

_John Henson – (jumps) What was that?_

_Owl – Oh, it's just the Chorus. It that happens all the time._

_Jill – (GASP!) A talking Owl!_

_Owl – (smiles) Indeed madam – I can talk. My name is Professor Reginald Strigiforme, but you can call me Reg. I would like to be your tour guide of the Emerald City._

_Jill – O…okay._

_John Anderson – Sounds good to me._

_John Henson – (excitedly) Well, what are we waiting for, guys? Let's go!_

_(Video shows scenes of Jill, John and John taking in the sights with Reg pointing out different buildings as the chorus sings…)_

_Chorus – ONE SHORT DAY IN THE EMERALD CITY, ONE SHORT DAY, FULL OF SO MUCH TO DO. EVER WAY THAT YOU LOOK AT THE CITY THERE'S SOMETHING EXQUISITE YOU'LL WANT TO VISIT BEFORE THE DAY'S THROUGH!_

_John Henson – (speaking) There are so many things here to see!_

_Jill – (admiring dresses in windows) (speaking) Clothing stores…_

_John Anderson – (holding history book) (speaking) Libraries!_

_John Henson – (pointing to Emerald Palace) (speaking) The Palace!_

_Jill – (speaking) Museums everywhere!_

_(sitting in pub)_

_John Anderson – (speaking) The food is like I've never seen…_

_John Henson – (Bringing three glasses of beer) (speaking) And look – even the beer is green. (singing) And there's a sense of magic in the aaaaaaaair… _

_(Music comes to an abrupt halt. Jill and John Anderson stare at him dumbfounded) _

_John Henson – (Incredulously) What?  
_

_John Anderson/Jill – (Slowly looks away and starts drinking beer.)_

_(Music restarts as scene changes to trio walking through the city)_

_John Henson – Guys this place is amazing! HEY! (points to building), "The Emerald City Candy Emporium!" (goes running into store)_

_Jill – (Shakes head) Just like a little kid._

_Reg – Is he always like this?_

_John Anderson/Jill – YES!_

_(Video continues of our three Wipeout hosts touring the city with Reg.)_

(voiceover) John Anderson – We had a wonderful tour of the Emerald City thanks to our tour guide Reg.

(voiceover) John Henson – And we would like to thank the people of Oz for their generous hospitality and for allowing us to share our sport (such as it is) with them.

_(End Video)_

John Anderson – I must say though, John, you're looking good in that green suit you purchased yesterday.

John Henson – Thank you. I have to admit this color does look good on me.

John Anderson – You look positively emerald, my friend.

John Henson – Shall we get back to the competition?

John Anderson – Absolutely. The Gyro Sweeper has cut our field of contestants down from twelve to six, and the lucky six are: "Pretty in Pink" Galinda Upland, "Annoying" Shen Shen Chuan, "The Munchkin" Boq Riddle, "Creepy Headmistress" Helena Morrible, "Dreamy Prince Charming" Fiyero Tiggular, and "The Green Girl" Elphaba Thropp.

John Henson – (turns to Anderson) You know, Johnny, I feel very fortunate being here. I feel like we are Wipeout ambassadors bringing Wipeouts, Big Balls and bruises to our new Ozian friends…

John Anderson – Wipeouts, Big Balls, and bruises – oh my.

John Henson – …and as Wipeout ambassadors, I feel we should introduce the good citizens of Oz to one of our favorite sports.

John Anderson – And what's that?

John Henson – (looks back menacingly at camera) A little something…we like to call…"Bruiseball".

(Fly-by over "Bruiseball" course)

John Anderson – Here's how it works: just like Baseball, contestants have to arrive safely on all four bases. However, our contestants will first be strapped into the "Dizzy Dummy" and spun around until they're...well...all good and dizzy.

John Henson – At the crack of the bat, they will leave the "Dizzy Dummy", run down the First Base line onto the spinner, cross the "Tipsy-Table" and then onto First Base - all while avoiding our designated hitters, the swinging Bruiseball Bats.

John Anderson – Once safely on First, they will then try to leg it down to Second Base on our bouncing base path. To steal Third, they will have to survive a run-down on our slide walk.

John Henson – And, to score a run, they'll need to jump off of one of these diving boards and tag Home Plate before splashing around in the mud.

John Anderson – We'll have two innings of Bruiseball. The first two contestants who tag Home Plate in each inning will move on to the "Wipeout Zone" and be one step closer to fifty thousand dollars.

John Henson – Aaaah yes, Bruiseball…it's as American as Apple Pie…provided that pie is thrown at your head.

John Anderson – Well then, let's get down to the playing field.

John Henson – In other words: LET'S PLAY BRUISEBALL!

(Scene changes to contestants in "Dizzy Dummy")

John Henson – Our six lucky contestants are strapped into the "Dizzy Dummy" just waiting for the round to begin. Can't you feel the excitement?

Shen Shen – Guys, just to warn you: I get motion sick real easy!

Fiyero – Well, don't barf on me!

John Anderson – Glad to see the contestants are setting the terms of the contest up front.

Jill – (To cheering crowd in bleachers) Hi everybody!

Crowd – Hi Jill!

John Henson – Hey…when did we get a live audience?

John Anderson – Those are some enthusiastic Ozians we've invited to join us to watch Bruiseball, John.

John Henson – It's not enough to embarrass our contestants in front of all of America, but also in front of their peers too. I love it!

Jill – You guys ready to watch some Bruiseball?

(Crowd cheers loudly)

Jill – All right…let's play some ball!

**(Horn sounds)** ("Dizzy Dummy" starts spinning.)

John Anderson – "Dizzy Dummy" now spinning.

Shen Shen – (breathing deeply) Oh Oz!

John Henson – This is not good. Shen Shen is actually looking greener than Elphaba.

("Dizzy Dummy" stops.) **(Bat Crack) (Organ sounds)**

Crowd – CHARGE!

Jill – All right guys. The first inning is underway.

John Henson – Our contestants extricate themselves from the "Dizzy Dummy"…

Shen Shen – **(PLAF!)**

John Henson – …looking like they all just got let out from the "Silver Slipper" after a night of binge drinking.

John Anderson – Shen Shen seems to be lost going in her own direction – nowhere near the baseline.

Elphaba – (slip) Whoop! **(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – Our "Green Girl" seems to have lost her footing running up to the spinner…

Boq – **(PLAF!) (SPLASH!)**

John Henson – …and our "Munchkin" comes up a _little short_ trying to get onto the spinner.

John Anderson – Going for the "short" jokes, John?

John Henson – Absolutely.

John Anderson – It seems the "Dizzy Dummy" has had quite the effect on our contestants.

John Henson – Well, John, not everybody can handle their "Dizzy Dummy". They all must be lightweights.

Morrible – **(PLAF!)**

Fiyero – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – Helena Morrible makes it to the spinner. Right behind her is "Prince Charming" Fiyero…

Galinda – **(PLAF!)**

John Henson – Our "Pink Princess" is not too far behind.

John Anderson – Morrible makes it onto the "Tippy Table" and safely on First Base.

Morrible – **(THWACK!)**

Crowd – Whoa!

Jill – (starts laughing)

John Henson – Oh and our Headmistress takes one of our "Wild Pitches" to the head.

John Anderson – Unfortunately she's taken a lot of shots to the head already today. Fiyero…

Fiyero – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – … is onto the "Tippy Table", Galinda's on the Pitcher's Mound joined there by Boq and Elphaba. Morrible, wasting no time, is making a run for second base on the bouncing base path…

Morrible – **(WHACK!)** Whaaaaa…**(SPLASH!)**

Crowd – Oh!

John Henson – Oh and our "Headmistress" is swept back by the swinging Bruiseball bat like she was being hauled off to detention!

Crowd – LET'S GO BRUISEBALL! (Clap…clap…clapclapclap) LET'S GO BRUISEBALL! (Clap…clap…clapclapclap)

John Henson – The crowd is really getting into this game John.

John Anderson – Indeed. "Prince Charming" landing on First Base. He's heading for Second…

Fiyero – **(WHACK!)** Ugh… **(PLAF!)**

Crowd – Whoa!

Fangirls – Oh!

John Henson – Oh!

John Anderson – …takes a hit from one of the swinging Bruiseball bats but manages to stay on top of the bouncing base path. Now he's up, running for Second…

Fiyero – Yeah!

Crowd – (Cheers loudly)

John Anderson – …and is safe! Galinda makes it onto First Base…and Boq jumps on First as well!

Galinda – (sweetly) Oh, hi Boq!

Boq – (smiling) Hey. What's up?

John Henson – Hey, look: it's the first time Boq's gotten to First Base with Galinda!

John Anderson – It must be love, John.

John Henson – Of course it is. Can't you just _feel_ it?

(Heart drawings forming on screen around Boq and Galinda overlaid with "kissing" sound effects.)

John Anderson – "Prince Charming" already running towards Third on our slide walks…

Fiyero - **(THWHACK!)** Ow!

Crowd – Whoa!

John Henson – Oh, and Fiyero gets smacked up-side the head by one of our wild pitches. No damage done, though.

John Anderson – Maybe he's brainless; maybe he's wise. Either way, he's safe on Third. Galinda our "Pink Princess" is now heading for Second…

Galinda – **(WHACK!)** Whaa… **(SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – OH!

John Henson – Galinda goes flying in a spinning pink blur courtesy of the swinging Bruiseball bat.

Shen Shen – **(PLAF!)**

John Henson – Oh look. There's Shen Shen finally finding the right direction onto the course.

John Anderson – She's now on the spinner. Meanwhile, Boq is making a run for second…

Boq – **(WHACK!)** Ugh… **(CRACK!) (SPLASH!)**

Crowd – Ow!

John Anderson – OH! He get's turned upside-down by the Bruiseball bat, landing hard on the base path and into the water!

John Henson – Our Bruiseball course is making _short_ order of this little Munchkin.

John Anderson – Morrible is back on her feet on First and on the way to Second, landing on the bag…

Morrible – YES! **(WHACK!) **NOOOOOO!** (SPLASH!)**

John Henson – Oh! Takes a hit from one of the Bruiseball bats!

John Anderson – However, both of her feet touched the bag at Second so she is safe at Second. Meanwhile, at Third, Fiyero takes off running towards the diving boards…

Fiyero – (jump) **(SPLASH!)**

Umpire – (huge arm swinging motion) SAAAAAAAFE!

Fiyero - …tags the Plate and "Prince Charming" is the first person to go on to the "Wipeout Zone"!

Crowd – (Cheers loudly)

Fangirls – WHOO HOOO!

John Anderson – Galinda back up and now running towards second…

Galinda – (Slip) Whoa! **(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – …and the bouncing base path proving too much for the Pink Princess.

John Anderson – Our "Headmistress" is now standing on second…

Morrible - **(THWHACK!)** Ow!

John Anderson – Oh, and our "Headmistress" takes _another _"wild pitch" off of the side of the head. At least she's wearing a helmet.

John Henson – Thank goodness.

Morrible - ENOUGH WITH THE (censored) HEAD SHOTS!

Crowd – Whoa!

Jill – Whoa!

John Henson – Oh! Potty mouth! Way to be a good influence on your students, Miss Headmistress!

John Anderson – Morrible now on the slide walks arrives safe on Third. The "Green Girl" Elphaba now heading for Second. Jumping over the Brusieball bat…

Elphaba – **(WHACK!) (PLAF!)** Ugh!

John Anderson - … gets hit by the Brusieball bat but lands back on the base path. She's up and safely on Second.

John Henson – Well, it might be too late as Morrible heads for home…

Morrible – (jump) **(SPLASH!)**

Umpire – (huge arm swinging motion) SAAAAAAAFE!

Crowd – (Cheering)

John Henson - …tags Home Plate, and this inning is over as our "Creepy Headmistress" is the second person moving on to the "Wipeout Zone".

John Anderson – Jill is with our "Headmistress" right now.

Jill – Madame Morrible, congratulations! You're going to the "Wipeout Zone"!

Morrible – (exhausted) Thank you.

Jill – Although we caught you using some not so dignified language on the course.

Morrible – Yes, well, after getting hit in the head too many times today, dignity was the last thing on my mind.

John Henson – John, I think she's _finally_ figured out what Wipeout is all about.

John Anderson – So "Prince Charming" Fiyero Tiggular and "Creepy Headmistress" Helena Morrible move on to the "Wipeout Zone"…

John Henson – …while the rest get strapped back into the "Dizzy Dummy" for the second inning.

**(Horn sounds)** ("Dizzy Dummy" starts spinning.)

John Anderson – Our remaining four contestants getting nice and dizzy – all with one more shot to get to the fifty-thousand dollar "Wipeout Zone".

("Dizzy Dummy" stops.)

Jill – All right. It's the second inning.

**(Bat Crack) (Organ Sounds…)**

Crowd – CHARGE!

John Henson – And they're off!

John Anderson – It's not a horse race, John.

John Henson – It could be…if the horses were really dizzy, that is.

Boq – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – Boq is the first one on the spinner. Galinda and Elphaba are not too far behind.

John Henson – Uh oh, Shen Shen is still by the "Dizzy Dummy". She's not looking too good…

Shen Shen – Hugggg…(BARF!)

Crowd – OH! (turns away)

Jill/Fiyero/Morrible – OH!

Anderson/Henson – OH!

Jill – (winces and turns away) Oh man. I can't look.

John Anderson – _That_ might explain why she wasn't looking too good.

John Henson – Well, you know John, if something's bothering you, it's best to let it all out.

Boq – **(PLAF!)**

Crowd – (Cheers)

John Anderson – The "Munchkin" now safely on First.

Boq – (Sees "Wild Pitch" coming) (ducks)

Galinda – **(THWACK!)** OW!

Crowd – Oh!

John Henson – Wow. Boq sees the "Wild Pitch" coming and ducks allowing it to hit Galinda in the face. There goes any chance of a date.

John Anderson – Well, he's not hanging around to hear about it. Boq immediately starts running to Second…

Boq – **(THWACK!)**

John Anderson – Oh, get's hit by a "Wild Pitch" below "The Equator"…

Boq – (Jump) **(WHACK!) **Ooh…**(CRUNCH!)**

Crowd – (Winces) Oh!

Jill/Fiyero/Morrible – Oh!

John Henson – …and the "Munchkin" tries to jump the Bruiseball bat but gets clipped by it and _painfully _lands straddling the base path! _That's_ going to leave a mark.

John Anderson – I could hear that Wipeout from here.

John Henson – I could _feel_ that Wipeout from here.

Fiyero – There goes his family life.

John Anderson – Boq now _painfully _limping along but he is safe at Second. Meanwhile, Galinda makes it safely onto First base. Elphaba also jumps on joining her roommate on First.

Galinda – (nonchalantly) Hey.

Elphaba – Hey Glin.

John Henson – Elphaba seems to be holding onto Galinda for support.

John Anderson – Isn't that sweet? They're sharing a Gelphie moment.

Shen Shen – **(PLAF!)**

John Henson – "Annoying" Shen Shen now getting over that annoying feeling of nausea and making it onto the spinner.

John Anderson – "Pretty in Pink" Galinda now running for second…

Galinda – **(WHACK!)** (SQUEAL!) **(SPLASH!)**

Crowd – Oh!

Jill – Oh!

John Anderson – Oh a huge wipeout. She tried running and jumping over the Bruiseball bat, but it clipped her foot sending her spinning into the water.

Jill – At least she wiped out in style.

Galinda – (swimming) This is harder than it looks!

John Henson – Yeah, but you know what? It's easy enough to watch.

John Anderson – "Green Girl" Elphaba now trying to head for Second…

Elphaba - **(WHACK!)** **(CRAAAAACK!) **Ow! **(SPLASH!)**

Crowd – Oh!

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Henson – And our "Green Girl" lands on the base path face first with her feet falling in front of her. Hopefully she's got a Slinky ™ for a spine.

John Anderson – The "Munchkin" is now off of Second and on the slide walks making his way across with the grace of a dancer…

Boq – (jumping over Bruiseball bat) **(PLAF!)**

John Henson – Yeah…waaaaaaaay off of Broadway, that is.

John Anderson – Grace or not, he's made it to Third Base.

Crowd – (Cheering)

John Henson - "Annoying" Shen Shen is on First heading for Second…

Shen Shen - **(WHACK!)** Aaaah… **(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – …and get's thrown all the way back to First.

John Anderson – Galinda back up and heading for Second…

Galinda – YES! Whoop…**(SPLASH!)**

John Anderson – She makes it but overruns the bag into the water. Elphaba is now running to Second…

Elphaba – YES! **(WHACK!)** **(SPLASH!)**

Crowd – (Cheering)

John Anderson – …and is safe on Second but gets hit by the Bruiseball bat into the water.

John Henson – However, the "Munchkin" is heading for Home…

Boq – (jump) Ugh…**(SPLASH!)**

Umpire – (huge arm swinging motion) SAAAAAAAFE!

Crowd – (Cheering)

John Henson – and Boq Riddle is the third person heading to the "Wipeout Zone".

Boq – (Jumps up in mud) YEAH!

Crowd - (Cheers!)

Galinda – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – Back at Second, Galinda is out of the water and now heading over onto the…

Elphaba – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – …slide walks but Elphaba is right on her heels! This is going to be a tight race.

Galinda – **(PLAF!)**

Elphaba – **(PLAF!)**

John Henson – Absolutely! Now both women are safe on Third!

John Anderson – "Annoying" Shen Shen is still stuck on First. She's got to go if she wants a shot at winning. It's now or never…

Shen Shen – **(WHACK!)** (SCREAM!) **(SPLASH!)**

Crowd – Oh!

John Anderson - …and "never" it is.

John Henson – But look at this, John! Our colorful duo is running for the diving boards…

Galinda/Elphaba - (jump) **(SPLASH!)**

Umpire – (huge arm swinging motion) SAAAAAAAFE! (points to Elphaba)

Crowd – (Cheering loudly)

John Anderson – Both women hit the Plate, but the umpire is calling Elphaba safe! It was so close, John – we will have to go to replay on this one to verify who got to the Plate first!

John Henson – An absolutely wild finish! Let's look at the replay…(replay starts)…both women going for the Plate…

Elphaba (on replay) – (jump)

Galinda (on replay) - (jump)

John Henson – …and it looks like…

Galinda (on replay) - (tag)

John Henson – …there! Galinda touched the Plate just an _inch_ ahead of Elphaba.

John Anderson – Which means Galinda Upland is the fourth person going to the "Wipeout Zone"! Jill is with the two roommates now.

Jill – Hey ladies, it was so close - only an inch apart - but Galinda…you're going to the "Wipeout Zone"!

Galinda – (jumping up and down) WHOO HOO!

Crowd – (Cheering)

Elphaba – (looks to sky in disappointment) Uuuuuugh! So close.

Galinda – (Turns to Elphaba) I'm sorry Elphie.

Elphaba – (hugs Galinda) Good job, Glin. Good luck.

Crowd – Awwwww.

John Anderson – Galinda "Pretty in Pink" Upland getting a congratulatory hug from Elphaba as she is moving on to the "Wipeout Zone"!

John Henson – She will be joined by Boq "The Munchkin" Riddle, "Creepy Headmistress" Helena Morrible, and "Dreamy Prince Charming" Fiyero Tiggular.

John Anderson – With that, we'll take a break, and when we come back, our four finalists will face the "Wipeout Zone" and have a chance to win fifty-thousand dollars.

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**You know I _love_ reviews. So, please review. :)**


	4. Wipeout Zone Part 1

**A/N – Welcome to the Wipeout Zone!**

**To let you know how authentic I wanted to make this, I went on Youtube and watched this Wipeout Zone from a number of different episodes to determine the time it takes to make it past the obstacles and how much time is added if a contestant wipes out at an obstacle. You'll notice, during the course of this chapter (and the next), the times for each contestant will be displayed at different intervals so you'll get an idea on how the contestant is doing in the Wipeout Zone.**

**And as always, for those who haven't seen Wipeout, I highly recommend going to "Youtube" and entering "Wipeout Zone Season 3" in the Youtube search bar. There were two Wipeout Zones in season 3: one of them started with a Catapult and the other started with something called the "Dreadmill Launch" – it's the latter one that's being used. **

**PSA:**

**John Henson – Ladies and Gentlemen, as a Public Service Announcement, the management of ABC and Stephen Schwartz, Winnie Holzman, and Gregory Maguire want to remind you that the author owns neither Wipeout nor Wicked.**

**Author – Sadly. :(**

**

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**

(Start into – display "Wipeout – Oz Edition" graphic…)

John Anderson – Welcome back to our Ozian edition of Wipeout. John, I don't know if you've noticed, but it's now nighttime.

John Henson – (sinister voice) _Darkness falls across the land…the midnight hour is close at hand…_

John Anderson – Actually, I've got 8:43 in the evening Ozian time.

John Henson – (exasperated) Dude, I was trying to set a mood here.

John Anderson – (sheepishly) Oh, sorry - I didn't realize that's what you were trying to do. (back to normal) However, nighttime can only mean one thing here at Wipeout.

John Henson – (excitedly) You know it – you love it! It's…the "Wipeout Zone".

(Flyover of Wipeout Zone)

John Anderson – Tonight's "Wipeout Zone" is made up of the following stages: it starts off with the the "Dreadmill Launch": contestants run along this forward moving treadmill, jump through the waterfall, then fly 40 feet in the air, bounce off the sloped trampoline and into the bone chilling water below.

John Henson - Then it's a short swim to the Gut Busters - six blocks on hydraulic pistons that move up and down at will and will take the contestants on a wild ride.

John Anderson – Once they clear the Gut Busters, it's a short walk to the Sini-Stairs: contestants will climb this spinning spiral staircase of trouble. Of course, they need to watch out for the two ominous sweeper arms that aim to knock the contestants back into the waters.

John Henson - Then they'll have to make their way over to the last leg of the journey – the Gauntlet. First obstacle in the Gauntlet is the Crank Shaft - contestants must walk past the rotating crankshaft shaped beam. This obstacle takes patience and timing. After that, it's the Blades of Fury – two sets of windmill blades the contestants must jump through to reach the final obstacle: the Beater-Totter - a hydraulic see-saw which tries to shake off contestants into the water below as they cross it and land on the finish spot.

(Back to hosts)

John Anderson – Four contestants remain and the one with the fastest time is fifty thousand dollars richer. First up: our "Creepy Headmistress" Helena Morrible. Let's review how she got to the "Wipeout Zone".

_(flashback)_

John Henson – First, our Headmistress faced down the Qualifier with grace and dignity…

_Morrible – (bangs head on side of Shake-o-lator) Ow! This is not dignified!_

John Henson – Then, she left quite an impression on the Gyro-Sweeper…

_Morrible – __**(WHACK!)**__ Oh! __**(PLAF!)**__ Buh...__**(SPLASH!)**_

_Elphaba, Shen Shen, Galinda, Boq, Fiyero – (Cringes) OOOW!_

John Henson – However, she was the second person in the Bruiseball round to qualify for the Wipeout Zone.

_Morrible – (jump) (SPLASH!)_

_Umpire – (huge arm swinging motion) SAAAAAAAFE!_

_(end flashback)_

Morrible – (standing at start of Dreadmill) Okay, Helena…you can do this. There isn't a challenge you've shied away from yet.

John Anderson – Helena Morrible now psyching herself up for tackling the Wipeout Zone.

(Dreadmill lights up – countdown starts…)

John Anderson – Launch sequence started…

(Green light)

Morrible – (runs) (jump) Aaaaaaaaaaah…(bounce) **(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – A pretty good launch, John. She attacked the Dreadmill with vigor and got a great bounce off of the trampoline putting her close to the next obstacle.

_**(0:35)**_

John Anderson – Morrible now approaching the first obstacle: the Gut Busters. She jumps onto the first platform…

Morrible – **(PLAF!) **

John Anderson – …so far, so good. The first one is always the easiest.

John Henson – You never forget your first one, Johnny.

John Anderson - She moves from that first platform to the second…

Morrible – **(PLAF!) **

John Henson – Our Headmistress slowly making it across – the key here is methodically moving over these platforms. You can't rush it.

Morrible – **(PLAF!) **

John Anderson – Our Headmistress is now on the third platform moving to the next…

(Gut Buster bouncing up and down…)

Morrible – **(PLAF!) **Ugh! **(PLAF!) **Oh! **(PLAF!) **Ow! **(PLAF!) **Ugh!

John Henson – Oh! That fourth one is taking her for a ride, John! She's getting bounced around like a ping pong ball!

John Anderson - Our Headmistress getting schooled by the Gut Busters...

Morrible – **(Slip!) **Whoop… **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – Oh! Slips off of that fourth Gut Buster but manages to land on the next one. That saved her from falling into the water below.

John Henson – That was either luck or magic. Whatever it was, it _certainly_ saved her from wiping out, and she's made it off of the Gut Busters.

_**(1:15)**_

Morrible – Oh thank Oz!

John Anderson – Helena feeling a little relieved now.

John Henson – Yeah, but wait until she takes a look at the the Sini-Stairs.

Morrible – Oh, you've _got _to be kidding!

John Anderson – Nope: we're not kidding.

John Henson – Would we ever kid about the Wipeout Zone, Johnny?

John Anderson – Definitely not. Fifty thousand dollars is _serious_ business, John, and she's about to see how serious the Sini-Stairs are.

Morrible – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson - Morrible, now jumping onto the first stair…

Morrible – **(WHACK!) **Oh…**(SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Anderson - …gets caught by the first sweeper arm and is sent into the frigid waters below.

John Henson – Yeah, you can see here that she jumped onto the first step and didn't even see the sweeper arm coming. Now she's got to swim back to the platform and start the Sini-Stairs again.

_**(2:53)**_

John Anderson – Morrible, now back on the platform. Hopefully she's learned from her previous wipeout.

Morrible – **(PLAF!)**

John Henson - …and she jumps right onto the second stair, John. I didn't know she had it in her.

John Anderson – Well, she has been full of surprises today, Johnny, but she seems to be making her way up the stairs. Now about half-way up...

Morrible – **(WHACK!) **Oof.

John Anderson – Morrible takes _another_ hit to the head from the second sweeper arm but she hangs on to make it up to the top of the stairs.

John Henson – Well, why not? She had head shots in all three previous rounds, why not this one too?

John Anderson – The Headmistress now at the top of the stairs…

Morrible – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – …and successfully makes it off onto the ramp that leads to the Gauntlet.

_**(4:17)**_

John Henson – Her time is pretty good - just over four minutes, fifteen seconds. But, as we've seen previously in the Wipeout Zone, _this_ is the section that causes the most trouble.

John Anderson – Absolutely, John. We've seen contests won and lost in this section. Morrible watching the Crankshaft and…

Morrible – **(WHACK!) **SQUEAL! **(****SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Anderson – Helena tried to run by the Crankshaft but gets knocked off the platform and into the water. Now, it's a long swim back to the start of the Gauntlet.

John Henson – Time and time again, we see contestants try to run by this obstacle and hope for the best. It just doesn't work - you need to stop and figure out the timing of the Crankshaft.

_**(5:36)**_

John Anderson – Helena now back at the Crankshaft…

Morrible – (pant) Come on (pant) Helena. (pant) You can (pant) figure this out.

John Anderson – Our Headmistress, looking pretty tired now, taking time to figure out the Crankshaft.

John Henson – You'd think as a University Headmistress she'd stop and study more.

Morrible – (step) (step)

John Anderson – Well, John, it looks like her studies paid off as she's got the timing down and makes it past the Crankshaft. Now she has to face the Blades of Fury…

Morrible – **(WHACK!) **Oh sh(censored)! **(****SPLASH!)**

_**(5:57)**_

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Henson – The Headmistress got caught by one of the blades and goes tumbling into the water.

John Anderson – Now she's got _another_ long, tiring swim back to the start of the Gauntlet. This part of the course is _really_ taking a toll on her.

John Henson – Well, creepy or not, give her credit for not giving up.

_**(8:03)**_

John Anderson – Morrible's time now just over eight minutes. Just think, John: she was looking so good before.

John Henson – Yeah, but as we said earlier, fifty thousand is usually won or lost at the Gauntlet.

Morrible – (step) (step)

John Anderson – Helena now passing through the Crankshaft again and making it to the Blades of Fury. Hopefully this time she'll figure out how to get past them.

_**(8:24)**_

Morrible – (jump) (jump)

John Henson – And she makes it!

_**(8:37) (Beater Totter activates)**_

John Anderson – Now she just has the Beater Totter to go and, as we've seen in previous episodes, this obstacle can be relentless.

John Henson – Contestants _really_ take a beating here.

(Beater Totter moving back and forth…)

Morrible – **(PLAF!) (THUD!) **Oh! **(THUD!)** Ugh…

John Anderson – …and she is _definitely _taking a beating as she makes her way across the Beater Totter. However, our Headmistress is _fighting_ her way across, _desperately _holding on…she's almost made it to the end…

Morrible – **(PLAF!) **

John Henson – …and she makes it across to the finish platform!

_**(9:05)**_

John Anderson – Our Headmistress finishes the course with at time of nine minutes and five seconds, putting her at the head of the class for now.

Morrible – (pant) Oh (pant) thank Oz (pant) that's over!

John Henson – An exhausted Helena Morrible is just happy to finish the course. However, she has set a pretty respectable time to beat. Our "Prince Charming" Fiyero Tiggular is hoping to better that time and take the lead away from the Headmistress. Jill is with the Prince now.

Jill – Congratulations – you've made it to the Wipeout Zone.

Fiyero – Thank you. (looking at the course) It looks pretty ominous from here.

Jill – Oh, it's nothing that a... (goes dreamy) handsome, hunky, good looking, sexy, scandalous Winkie Prince can't handle.

Fiyero – (confused) Uh…thank you?

Jill – (starts twirling hair) So, like…what are you doing after the show?

John Henson – I think he just picked up a new lifetime fangirl, John.

John Anderson – Well as Jill gushes over her new crush, let's review how our handsome, hunky, good looking, sexy, scandalous Winkie Prince made it here.

_(flashback)_

John Anderson – Our Prince was the King of the Qualifier as he set the fastest time…

_Fiyero – (Smackwall - SMACK!) WHOA! (SPLASH!)_

John Anderson – He almost made it to the end of the second round on the Gyro-Sweeper…

_Fiyero – __**(WHACK!)**__ Uugh! __**(SPLASH!)**_

_Jill – Aw._

John Henson – However, he was the first person in the Bruiseball round to qualify for the "Wipeout Zone".

_Fiyero – (jump) (SPLASH!)_

_Umpire – (huge arm swinging motion) SAAAAAAAFE!_

_(end flashback)_

John Anderson – Jill and Helena are watching Fiyero's run from the sidelines.

Jill – How do you think he'll do?

Morrible – He's the one I'm worried about the most. I think he's got a chance of beating my time.

(Dreadmill lights up – countdown starts…)

Fiyero – All right! Let's get this party started!

John Anderson – Fiyero getting pumped as the launch sequence starts…

(Green light)

Fiyero – (runs) (jump) WHOOOOOOO…(bounce) HOOOO…**(SPLASH!)**

John Anderson – Oh, a perfectly executed jump, John.

John Henson – Absolutely! He hit that trampoline right in the sweet spot and got great distance off of it. That should set him up to the Gut Busters in great time.

_**(0:32)**_

John Anderson – Speaking of which, Fiyero now landing on the first platform…

Fiyero – **(PLAF!) **

John Anderson – Moving across to the next set of platforms – the Gut Busters not making it easy…

(Gut Buster bouncing up and down…)

Fiyero – **(PLAF!) (PLAF!) **Ugh! ** (PLAF!) **Ugh! **(PLAF!) (PLAF!) **

John Anderson – Our "Prince Charming" getting a rough ride on that third Gut Buster, Johnny.

John Henson – Absolutely, John. He's being thrown up into the air and landing on his stomach. He's finding out how the Gut Busters got their name…

Fiyero – **(PLAF!) (Slip!)**Ugh… **(SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Anderson – …and down into the water…Fiyero just couldn't hang on.

Jill – Oh!

Morrible – Oh wow! I didn't expect _that_.

John Henson – None of us did, Helena. Fiyero was getting the ride of his life on that Gut Buster - getting shaken _and_ stirred at the same time. Now he's got to swim back to the beginning of the Gut Busters and start again.

_**(1:43)**_

Fiyero – **(PLAF!) **

John Anderson – Getting back on that first Gut Buster again…

Fiyero – **(PLAF!) (PLAF!) **Ugh! Give** (PLAF!) **me **(PLAF!) **a **(PLAF!) **break!

John Henson – The Gut Busters are not going easy on Prince Charming here. Hopefully he'll have a storybook ending to this obstacle.

John Anderson – Well he may be close to that desired ending as…

Fiyero – **(PLAF!)** (pant) Finally.

John Anderson – …he makes it past the Gut Busters.

John Henson – Yes he does, but he looks spent and he is well behind the pace set by Helena Morrible.

_**(2:17)**_

John Anderson – Now approaching the Sini-Stairs…

Fiyero – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – jumps on the first stair and quickly heading up for the second…

Fiyero – **(WHACK!)**

John Anderson – …and takes a hit from the sweeper arm but manages to say on.

John Henson – Yeah, the sweeper arm hit his foot as he went up. It didn't knock him off but gave him a just a gentle reminder of its power, John.

John Anderson – Fiyero needs a clean run up the Sini-Stairs if he wants any hope of catching Morrible's time. Working his way up…he's now on the top stair…

Fiyero – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – …and makes it off with a clean run. That's really going to help his time.

**(3:12)**

John Henson – He's about a minute faster than the pace set by our Headmistress, but he's now got to face down the Crankshaft.

Morrible – Oh man, he's doing good.

Jill – (quietly) Yes!

Morrible – What?

Jill – (surprised) Oh…nothing.

John Henson – Jill secretly cheering for our handsome, hunky, good looking, sexy, scandalous Winkie Prince, but he's approaching the Gauntlet now and we've seen too many leads squandered here…

Fiyero – **(WHACK!) **Ugh! (**SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Anderson – …and Fiyero tried to do the same thing that Morrible did and run by the Crankshaft.

John Henson – He didn't even take the time to figure out the pattern. He hoped to just run by the Crankshaft but it sent him flying into the water. Now, he has that long swim back to the start of the Gauntlet.

John Anderson – He'll need to have a clean run here on in if he has any hope of catching Morrible's time.

_**(5:14)**_

John Anderson - Fiyero Tiggular is now back at the start of the Crankshaft.

John Henson – He just needs to settle down and figure out the timing.

Fiyero – So if I step there…then there…

John Anderson – It looks like he's trying to figure out the pattern…

Fiyero – (step) (step)

Morrible - Oh, he's figured it out now.

John Anderson – …now he's got it. He's successfully by the Crankshaft and now has to face the Blades of Fury.

Fiyero – (jump) (jump)

John Henson – Whoa! A clean run past the Blades of Fury! Now all that's left is the Beater Totter.

_**(5:42) (Beater Totter activates)**_

John Anderson – He's about two and a half minutes ahead of Morrible's time but the Beater Totter is a force to be reckoned with.

Fiyero – **(PLAF!) **

John Anderson – Now making his way across the Beater Totter – if he can keep it clean…

(Beater Totter shifts suddenly)

Fiyero – **(PLAF!) **Ugh…**(SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – No!

Jill/Morrible – Oh!

John Anderson – Just couldn't hang on.

John Henson – Yeah, the Beater Totter showed this Prince who's King of the Wipeout Zone, throwing him backwards into the water like it was no effort at all.

John Anderson – Now he has that long swim back to the Crankshaft. The lead he once had is now gone and he's going to have to hurry if he wants a chance to take the lead from Headmistress Morrible.

_**(8:27)**_

Fiyero – UuuuuhAAAAAAAAAH!

John Anderson – Fiyero back at the start of the Crankshaft – letting out a cry of frustration. He looked so good John.

John Henson - Yeah but those Wipeouts have eaten right into his time. He's _really _got to have a clean run from here on in if he wants to win.

John Anderson - It's going to be tight.

Fiyero – (pant) (pant) (step) (step)

_**(8:58)**_

John Henson – He's making his way past the Crankshaft but he's looking absolutely exhausted here John.

John Anderson – He needs to hurry over the Blades of Fury for _any _chance to win…

Fiyero – **(WHACK!)** Nooo… **(SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Anderson – Prince Charming is knocked off by the Blades of Fury…

**(Horn Sounds!)**

John Anderson – …and the horn sounds, signifying that he is knocked out of the competition.

Morrible – What was that horn?

Jill – It means he's run out of time and you're still in the lead.

Morrible – (surprised) Really?

John Henson – The Headmistress pleasantly surprised that she's still got the best time…

Fiyero – Ugh! Dammit!

John Henson – …and our Prince showing frustration at failing to finish the course.

John Anderson – Our Headmistress' time stands up to the first challenger but there are still two more challengers to come. We'll take a break here, and when we come back, we will crown Oz's Wipeout Champion.

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**So, will Morrible's time stand? Or will either Boq or Galinda take it? Answers to be revealed when we come back. :)**


	5. Wipeout Zone Part 2

**A/N – Ladies and Gentlemen…and now the finale of the Wipeout Zone!**

**Standard disclaimers still apply…(i.e. I own nothing...)  
**

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**

(Start into – display "Wipeout – Oz Edition" graphic…)

John Anderson – We are back on Wipeout…

John Henson – …where we are halfway through the Wipeout Zone as two of our finalists have gone through the course.

John Anderson – Currently, our "Creepy Headmistress" Helena Morrible holds the time to beat at just over nine minutes. Our Pink Princess Galinda Upland is yet to come, but up next is the man standing tall in the Dreadmill Launch: Boq "The Munchkin" Riddle. Johnny, let's see how he got here_. _

_(flashback)_

John Henson – Our "Munchkin" was the first contestant down the Qualifier, posting an impressive time…

_Boq – (jump) (Bounce) __**(PLAF!)**__ Whaaaa…! __**(SPLASH!)**_

John Henson – He was the last man standing and our thousand dollar winner on the Gyro-Sweeper…

_Boq – YE…Oh sh(censored)! __**(WHACK!)**__**(SPLASH!)**_

John Henson – And after having troubles in the first inning of Bruiseball, he recovered in the second inning to make his way to the "Wipeout Zone".

_Boq – (jump) Ugh…__**(SPLASH!)**_

_Umpire – (huge arm swinging motion) SAAAAAAAFE!_

_Crowd – (Cheering)_

_Boq – (Jumps up in mud) YEAH!_

_(end flashback)_

Boq – (to himself) OK…it's on.

John Henson – Oh, it's _definitely _on now.

Boq – (to himself) No matter what, just finish the course.

John Henson – Boq now calling it that he's going to finish the Wipeout Zone. However, there are a number of obstacles waiting to prevent him from achieving that goal.

(Dreadmill lights up – countdown starts…)

John Anderson – He's picked up a lot of confidence as he's progressed through the course, John. Maybe this will carry him through to the end. Well, our Munchkin is waiting for the green light…

(Green light)

Boq – (runs) (jump) Whaaa…(small bounce) Ooof… **(SPLASH!)**

John Anderson – Oh, not a great jump off of the Dreadmill, John.

John Henson – Yeah, he seemed to hesitate before jumping through the waterfall. It caused him to slide down the trampoline more than anything, so he didn't get great distance.

John Anderson – That means a longer swim over to the Gut Busters.

_**(0:45)**_

John Anderson – The Munchkin now getting ready to tackle said Gut Busters. He approaches the obstacle…

Boq – **(PLAF!) **

John Anderson – …and is now on the first platform. He's slowly making his way for the second platform…looking good so far…

Boq – **(PLAF!) **

(Third Gut Buster starts quickly going up and down)

Boq – **(PLAF!) **Ugh!** (PLAF!) (PLAF!) (PLAF!)**

John Henson – Oh! He is just getting totally beat up on that third platform! With his size, we should rename this obstacle to the "Everything" Buster!

Morrible – Wow. He's having a hard time there…

Boq – **(PLAF!) **Wha…**(SPLASH!)**

Jill/Morrible – Oh!

_**(1:01)**_

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Anderson - …and down he goes into the water. He _really _got a rough ride on that Gut Buster, Johnny.

John Henson – Absolutely. Now he's got to go back to the beginning of the Gut Busters and try to hurry through this obstacle.

Boq – (in water – looking around) Where am I?

John Henson – Well, if you're in the water after falling from a set of moving platforms call the Gut Busters, chances are you're on Wipeout!

_**(2:29)**_

John Anderson – After being a little disoriented, Boq has found his way back to the start of the Gut Busters.

Boq – **(PLAF!) **

John Anderson – The Munchkin is back on the first platform making his way across to the second one. Hopefully he hasn't taken a hit in his confidence, John.

John Henson – Yeah, he seemed really confident before starting the Wipeout Zone, but we've seen too many contestants humbled by the Zone when they're in it. Let's see if he can at least make it past this obstacle, John…

Boq – **(PLAF!) (PLAF!) **

John Anderson – So far, so good, he's made it about half way…

(Gut Buster moving up and down again)

Boq – **(PLAF!) **Ugh!** (PLAF!) **Not **(PLAF!) **again!** (PLAF!)**

John Henson – Yes, Boq…again.

John Anderson – The Munchkin, even while being beat up, has almost made it to the end of this obstacle…

Boq – **(PLAF!) **

John Henson – Success! He made it. A little battered and bruised, but at least he made it.

_**(3:32)**_

John Anderson – Now he has to face the Sini-Stairs.

Boq – (staring at Sini-Stairs) Aw man! Really?

John Henson – Yeah, really.

John Anderson – Munchkin Boq is now trying to figure out how to get onto the Sini-Stairs…

Boq – **(PLAF!) (WHACK!)** Ugh…**(SPLASH!)**

John Henson – Oh…takes a shot to the head by the sweeper arm and goes right into the water.

John Anderson – Yes, John, you can see here that Boq landed on that first step but didn't see that sweeper arm coming.

John Henson – The sweeper arm cuts our Munchkin down to size.

_**(4:31)**_

John Anderson – The Munchkin now back at the start of the Sini-Stairs…

Boq – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – …and this time he jumps on, but he stays low to duck under that sweeper John.

John Henson – Well, our Munchkin needs to get going _now_ if he wants to finish the course and beat Morrible's time.

John Anderson – He's going to have to be clean from here on in. Boq, now making his way up to the top step. Can he make the jump over to the platform?

Boq – **(PLAF!)**

_**(5:13)**_

John Anderson – Yes he does! Now he has to face the Gauntlet.

Boq – (pant) How am I going (pant) to get past _this_?

John Henson – Oh don't worry…you'll find a way.

John Anderson – Boq…now ready to get past the Crankshaft…

Boq – **(WHACK!)** Whaaaaaa…**(SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Henson – The Crankshaft takes the Munchkin for a ride!

John Anderson – Absolutely, John! Boq started running by the Crankshaft but he stopped mid way. It looks like he figured out mid-run how to tackle this obstacle. Unfortunately, by that time, the Crankshaft arm picked him up and threw him over the other side of the obstacle. Now he's got to swim back to the start of the Crankshaft.

_**(6:28)**_

John Anderson – Boq now ready to start the Gauntlet again…

Boq – (step) (step)

John Anderson - …and he successfully makes it by. He just has to make it past the Blades of Fury…

Boq – **(WHACK!)** Noooo…**(SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Henson – He is _not_ having much luck with this run. He's pretty much wiped out on every obstacle.

John Anderson – Now he has the long swim back to the start of the Gauntlet.

_**(8:40)**_

John Anderson – The Munchkin's time now over eight and a half minutes. Time is _really_ playing a factor now…

Boq – (step) (step)

John Anderson - …as he make it past the Crankshaft. He's really got to hurry if he wants to make it…

_**(8:58)**_

John Anderson - …to the end. Now working past the Blades of Fury …

Boq – (jump)

_**(9:06)**_

**(HORN SOUNDS!)**

Boq – (looks to sky in frustration) No!

John Henson - …and our Munchkin Boq comes up short as he is unable to beat Morrible's time…

Boq – (jump) **(PLAF!** – lands on Beater Totter)

**(Beater Totter starts rocking)**

John Henson – What is he doing?

Boq – I'm FINISHING **(PLAF!)** this course **(PLAF!) **no matter what!

John Anderson – Wow! A determined Boq continuing to tackle the Wipeout Zone even though his time is over.

John Henson – He is not giving up - he really wants this, John! Look at the determination on his face!

Jill – Wow – he's still going.

Morrible – I am impressed. I didn't know he had it in him.

John Henson – Me neither. I am _truly_ impressed with his determination, John.

John Anderson – Me too. Boq now making his way to the end of the Beater Totter…

Boq – **(PLAF!)**

John Henson - …and he makes it to the finish platform! Unfortunately his _official_ time is nine minutes and fifty seconds, so he doesn't win the fifty thousand, but I think he won the hearts of Wipeout views as he _never_ gave up.

John Anderson – No more short jokes, John?

John Henson – No…that was a truly inspiring finish.

Boq – (small fist raise and a slight smile) Yes…(pant) (pant) I (pant) did it.

John Anderson – Yes, you did Boq – you've tackled our course. Now, also hoping to successfully tackle the course is "Pretty in Pink" Galinda Upland. Let's review her trip to the Wipeout Zone…

_(flashback)_

_Galinda – Hello Wipeout! It's great to see me, isn't it?_

John Anderson – Our Pink Princess bounded her way through the Qualifier in all of that pink poofiness…

John Henson - …though she _did_ need a little motivation…

_Galinda – (looks back to see Motivator coming) Oh sh(censored)...(bounce) (SCREAM!) __**(SPLASH!)**_

John Anderson – She made it through the Gyro Sweeper round taking her roommate with her…

_Galinda – __**(PLAF!)**__ Nooo…_

_Elphaba – NO! GALINDA! __**(PLAF!)**_

_Both – Whaaaaaaa…__**(SPLASH!) (SPLASH!)**_

John Anderson – However, in the Bruiseball round, she _barely_ made it past her roommate to be the final person going to the Wipeout Zone!

_Galinda/Elphaba - (jump) __**(SPLASH!)**_

_Umpire – (huge arm swinging motion) SAAAAAAAFE!_

_(end flashback)_

(Dreadmill lights up – countdown starts…)

Galinda – (nervously) Oh Oz…what have I got myself into?

John Henson – Something we like to call the Wipeout Zone.

John Anderson – The countdown on the Dreadmill begins…

(Green light)

Galinda – (runs) (jump) AAAAAAAAAA…(bounce) …aaaaa… **(SPLASH!)**

John Anderson – Wow! Galinda got a good jump off of the Dreadmill and got pretty good distance to put her closer to the next obstacle.

John Henson – What was that? I can't hear over the ringing in my ears after that scream.

_**(0:39)**_

John Anderson – Galinda now approaching the Gut Busters...

Galinda – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – …So far, only our Headmistress has been the only one to make it across the Gut Busters clean…

(Gut Buster starts bouncing up and down)

Galinda – **(PLAF!) (PLAF!) **Ooh!** (PLAF!) **Ow!** (PLAF!) **OW!** (PLAF!) **OWIE!** (PLAF!)**

John Henson – Again, the Gut Buster giving our contestant a ride…golden hair bouncing…dress bouncing…

John Anderson - …contestant bouncing…

Galinda – **(PLAF!)** Whaaaa…**(SPLASH!)**

Anderson/Henson – Oh!

John Henson - …and bounced right into the water.

John Anderson – The Gut Busters not showing any mercy to our contestants. Now she's got that swim back to the beginning.

_**(3:05)**_

John Henson – She had such a great start, John.

Jill – Here she goes again.

Morrible – (smugly) I'm not worried. I don't think she has what it takes.

Jill – She could prove you wrong.

Morrible – (smirk) I doubt she will.

Galinda – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – Our Headmistress seeming confident that her time will hold up as Galinda gets back on the Gut Busters…

Galinda – **(PLAF!) (PLAF!)**

John Anderson – So far, this run is going better than her first…

Galinda - **(PLAF!)****(PLAF!)**

John Anderson - ...now almost through the Gut Busters...

Galinda - **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson - …and success. She's made it past that obstacle, John.

John Henson – That's true, John, but she's well behind Morrible's pace. She's _got _to make it up the Sini-Stairs in one go to make up time.

_**(3:42)**_

Galinda – (staring at Sini-Stairs) Oh, _this_ look horrificated!

John Henson – What was that word, John? What did she say?

John Anderson – No idea…it must be some strange Ozian language or something.

Galinda – **(PLAF!)**

John Anderson – Galinda now on the Sini-Stairs, ducks the sweeper arm and slowly makes her way up towards the top…

Galinda – **(THWACK!)**Ow.

John Henson – Oh, and the second sweeper arm gives her a "love-tap" on the arm, Johnny.

John Anderson – Our sweeper arm now hitting on our Pink Princess…

John Henson – Good thing Boq isn't watching…he might get jealous.

John Anderson – Galinda…continuing her ascent…now at the top, ready to jump off onto the platform…

Galinda – **(PLAF!)** Yes! (pant) Made it!

John Henson – Yes indeed! She's made it up the Sini-Stairs clean John. That will really help her time.

_**(4:49)**_

John Anderson – Yes it will, but now she's approaching the Gauntlet and we've seen all of our other contestants have problems here.

Galinda – How are you supposed to get past _this_ thing?

John Henson – Well, we _could_ tell you but that would ruin the whole thing now, wouldn't it?

John Anderson – Galinda now preparing to face the Crankshaft…

Galinda – (starts to run but stops)

John Anderson – Whoa…Galinda was about to go but...it looks like she's stopped to figure it out, John.

John Henson – Yeah. Unlike the other three contestants, it looks like she's _studying_ the Crankshaft to figure out how to get past it.

Morrible – Wow. I didn't know she could use that blissfully blonde brain of hers.

John Henson - …and now Morrible's gone back to "Creepy", John.

John Anderson – …and concerned. Morrible's starting to look worried about her time…

Galinda – (step) (step)

John Anderson – …and look at this! Galinda is the first contestant today to figure out the Crankshaft on her first run! Now she approaching the Blades of Fury…

_**(5:11)**_

Galinda – (jump) **(WHACK!)** SQUEAL! **(SPLASH!)**

John Anderson - …oh…and she gets caught up in the Blades of Fury and down into the water she goes.

John Henson – Yeah, you can see here that she misjudged the timing on the Blades of Fury and they sent our Pink Princess right into the water. Now she's got to head back to the start of the Crankshaft.

John Anderson – The good news is this: if she's figured out the Crankshaft before, she'll get past it again.

_**(7:22)**_

John Anderson – Galinda now back at the start of the Crankshaft…

Galinda – (step) (step)

John Anderson – …mastering that timing…making her way past…she's still got quite a lot of time left on the clock – about a minute and a half ahead of Morrible's time. Now approaching the Blades of Fury for a second time…

Galinda – (jump)

John Henson – She's made it half way across the Blades of Fury – now trying to get past the second Blade…

Galinda – (jump)

John Henson - …and she makes it!

_**(8:02) (Beater Totter Activates)**_

John Anderson – Now she has to face the Beater Totter, John. Galinda has to make it across the Beater Totter in one go in order to beat Morrible's time.

(Shot of Morrible biting her nails)

John Henson - Our Headmistress is _nervously_ watching this run, hoping her time will hold.

(Beater Totter rocks back and forth)

Galinda – **(PLAF!) **Ow!** (PLAF!) **Ugh!

John Henson – Our pink princess being made black and blue from the Beater Totter! She's _really _taking a beating…

(Beater Totter suddenly shifts…)

Galinda – (SLIP!) Whoaaa…NO YOU DON'T!

John Henson – …WHOA! I thought she was about to Wipeout there John, but she manages to hang on!

John Anderson – Galinda, with absolute will and determination, hanging on and fighting the Beater Totter...making her way across to the finish platform…

Galinda – **(PLAF!)**

_**(8:55)**_

John Anderson - …and she's done it! She's beaten Morrible's time! Galinda Upland has won Wipeout!

Jill – Hey Galinda…guess what? You just won Wipeout!

Galinda – (shocked) WHAT?

Jill – (enthusiastically) YOU'VE WON WIPEOUT! YOU JUST WON FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!

Galinda – (excited) NO WAY!

Jill – YES WAY!

Galinda – (jumps up and down) (SCREEEEEEEEAM!) I WON! I WON!

John Henson – Galinda Upland is our Ozian Wipeout winner, thus proving that pink _does_, in fact, go with green…fifty thousand green, that is.

John Anderson – Absolutely, John. Well, that will do it for this special Ozian edition of Wipeout. Again, we want to thank our hosts, the good citizens of Oz, for allowing us to share our insane obstacle course with them. Next week, we return to the USA where twenty-four new contestants will tackle our obstacle course for a chance at fifty thousand dollars. Until then, I'm John Anderson…

John Henson - …and for our colleague Jill Wagner, I'm John Henson saying, "Goodnight, and Big Balls."

* * *

**...and that, my friends, brings us to the end of this edition of Wipeout. However, I am debating writing an epilogue for this story. Let me know what you think: if you guys say I should do an epilogue, I will do one.**

**Thank you to all who reviewed - it was truly appreciated. :)  
**


	6. Epilogue

**A/N – Thank you all for your reviews and responses. And now...here is the epilogue to Wipeout! You'll notice that the relationships in this epilogue are non-canon, so I guess this makes it AU. Thank you for joining me on this crackfic adventure.**

**(Excitedly, the author cries…) GUESS WHAT! (then turns sad) I still don't own Wicked or Wipeout.**

**

* * *

**

Boq stood in front of his new BBQ as a number of hamburger patties sizzled on the grill. He breathed in the smell of his handiwork and smiled. He had stationed himself at the edge of the Munchkinland Amphitheater overlooking the crowd of people that was slowly growing. It had been five months since the show was taped; but now the day of the TV broadcast had finally arrived. Still, it surprised Boq how many people wanted to come and watch their edition of "Wipeout!" The town decided to use the Amphitheater and had set up some large screens and sound system so all could watch the show. It was a great way to pass a late summer's evening.

He was about to reach down into the cooler he brought to get something when a pair of arms wrapped around his chest and a soft voice whispered, "Guess who…"

Boq smiled at this playfulness and he turned to face his new girlfriend, and his lips were met with Galinda's. He felt his whole body tingle in the warmth of her kiss. He was so glad that Galinda could come from the Uplands to be with him – it made this time very special.

"Oh, for Oz sake, get a room!" a voice yelled out.

The two young lovers broke apart laughing at Fiyero's comment. Boq turned to his friend and replied, "Look, dude, don't be jealous."

Fiyero scoffed at the comment. "Me? Jealous?" he replied, throwing a can of beer to Boq and grabbing one for himself. "So, what are you cooking?"

"Behold, my friends: half-pound hamburgers made from the finest top grade of Ozian beef," he replied as he waved his arm over the grill.

Fiyero walked over, smelled the meat cooking on the BBQ and whistled. "Wow. I know you said you'd bring the food but, dude, I didn't think you'd go all out. You didn't blow your thousand already, did you?"

"Whatever it is, it smells good," a voice from behind them replied.

Boq smiled and walked over to the woman rolling towards them. "Thanks for coming, Nessa."

She smiled. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for anything. I can't wait to see you all get your butts kicked!"

They all laughed at her comment. Nessa then saw Galinda move closer to Boq and put her arm around his waist. This caused the brunette to look away looking a little sad. Galinda noticed this and walked over to Nessa. "Nessa, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

Nessa shook her head. "No, Galinda, don't be. Ever since he's got back from that 'game', he's become more confident than ever. As a matter of fact, he talked to me after he returned and told me the truth: that he loves you a lot. That's why we broke it off. The thing is, Galinda, I see you make him happy…happier than I ever could. Just…promise me you'll take care of him."

Galinda took her friend's hand and nodded. "I will." And with that, the two women embraced each other.

Boq breathed a sigh of relief seeing his current and past girlfriends hugging. Fiyero walked up behind him. "Dude, you are so lucky they get along."

"I know," he sighed. Changing the subject, Boq asked, "Hey, where's Elphaba?"

Galinda turned around and answered, "Oh, Elphie's getting changed into one of the dresses I bought for her last week."

Fiyero then asked, "Did you take her out on that makeover you threatened…uh, I mean, promised?"

Galinda replied jumping up and down excitedly. "Yes I did, and believe me, she looks absolutely beautificiated!"

Fiyero paled at the thought of Elphaba in pink. Galinda laughed at his look. "Oh, don't worry, Fifi; I didn't buy her pink…"

"No she didn't, thank Oz!"

They all turned to see Elphaba walking towards them, her raven hair let down, wearing a lavender dress that complemented her green skin and brown sandals on her feet. Fiyero walked over to her in almost a dream-like trance. "You look beautiful."

Elphaba blushed at Fiyero's compliment. "Thank you," she replied shyly. He lifted her face towards his and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Ahem," Boq interrupted, "dinner's just about ready."

The five friends turned their attention towards the BBQ with the now cooked hamburgers. While Fiyero got plastic glasses of wine for all of the ladies, Boq retrieved the burgers and served his friends – ladies first, of course. When each of them was served, they sat down on some lawn chairs that Fiyero brought to enjoy Boq's handiwork. Fiyero whistled after taking his first bite. "Dude, where did you learn to cook this good? What's your secret?"

Boq smiled as replied, "Simple. Don't rush cooking the burgers, sear the outsides first so the juices stay in, and…" He stopped to hold up a jar of sauce, then continued, "…always have a good BBQ sauce handy to cover up your mistakes!"

Everybody laughed at Boq's joke, but the festivities were interrupted as they heard coming from the front of the Amphitheater: "_It's that time America! What goes up must WIPEOUT!_"

Galinda squealed with glee. "Oh goodie! It's on!"

A large cheer went up in the Amphitheater as, by this time, the entire town was sitting watching the two large screens. Suddenly, Boq's image plastered over the screen: "_Whoooooo! Hey Mom! I'm on Wipeout!_"

Boq's face turned completely red with embarrassment as everybody laughed. "Oh, Oz, they _had _to start with me, didn't they?"

They all sat and watched as the two hosts outlined the course and showed Boq's run first. As the screen showed him approaching the first obstacle, Boq turned to Nessa and said, "Watch this…"

"_So, why __is __it called a "Smack Wall", John?"_

"**(****SMACK!)** Whaaaa… **(SPLASH!)**"

The audience cringed and let out a collective, "oh!" Nessa winced at the scene that played out before her. "Oh wow! They really did you guys in, didn't they?"

"You have no idea," Elphaba replied sarcastically.

The show continued showing Boq's run past the Sucker Punch Wall, the Big Balls (with everybody wincing at the audible "crack" as Boq's feet touched his head), the Shake-o-lator, and finishing with his failed attempt at the Shape Shifter. Once they showed him finishing his run, the townspeople cheered for their hometown hero, letting out whoops and shouts to congratulate Boq on his run. Fiyero patted his buddy on the shoulder. "Good job, dude."

"Thanks."

"_Hello Wipeout! It's great to see me, isn't it?"_

It was Galinda's turn to blush. "Oh, Oz, no!"

"_Uh John, is she just standing there?"_

"_Yes she is."_

"_Oh sh(censored)...(bounce) __**(SCREAM!) (SPLASH!)**__"_

"Galinda!" Nessa cried. "I can't believe you swore!"

Galinda started to protest. "Well, when you've got a big awful red thing swinging at you…"

"_Not too many people like our Smack Wall, John."_

"_Ooooh, is it montage time?"_

"_Yes, John, it is."_

Fiyero smiled. "Oh, _this _is going to be good."

The entire town let out "oh"s and "ah"s as each contestant was shown being abused by the Smack Wall, with some of the ladies looking away in horror. Boq just laughed when the announcer said, _"I'm LOVING this Smack Wall, John!"_

Boq then added, "You know, I think that's my favorite obstacle too."

His friends looked at him with astonishment. He noticed this and replied, "Hey, I figure if I can make it past a Smack Wall – not to mention a Gyro Sweeper, Bruiseball, _and_ The Wipeout Zone – I could do anything." And with that, they all nodded in agreement.

Then, it was Madame Morrible's turn to be shown on the big screen.

"_So, Helena…"_

"_That will be Madame Morrible to you, deary!"_

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "She doesn't change, does she?"

Then came the time Jill first met Fiyero: _"(starts singing off key) __Hands touch…eyes meet…"_

Elphaba started to get a little miffed. "Oh, now that's going too far!"

Galinda was rubbing her ears. "No kidding – she can't sing if her life depended on it!"

Finally, they showed Elphaba's run through the Qualifier and the first round came to a close. The contestants who made it past the first round were announced, much to the cheers and applause of the people watching the show. Nessa shook her head. "Wow, I was only _joking_ when I said I wanted to see your butts kicked. I _never_ expected it to be _that _bad."

Boq smiled and replied, "Wait until you see the next round."

Galinda chuckled wryly, saying, "You only like the next round because you _won._"

"So?"

"_Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back… the GYRO SWEEPER!"_

Each of the townspeople chuckled with unease as the hosts started to describe how the obstacle worked. They all sat in silence as the round progressed up until the point where Avaric blurted out, _"You guys watch out! Here it comes! Especially you Greenie!"_

At that moment, the entire audience booed at his comments, but laughed out loud and cheered when he was knocked off of his pedestal. Elphaba was surprised at the response. "Wow. Who would've thought?"

Fiyero smiled, placing a small kiss on her cheek. "You've come a long way, Fae."

* * *

Elsewhere, in the Emerald Palace, Helena Morrible was sitting on a couch in a private suite, watching the show on television. She was handed a glass of white wine, which she accepted with thanks. Oscar, the Wizard, sat beside her. "Are you comfortable my dear?"

"Yes. Thank you for inviting me, Wizard."

The Wizard smiled. "Please, call me Oscar when we're alone." Turning his attention to the TV, he asked, "So, what do you think so far?"

Helena shook her head. "I still cannot believe that Upland girl beat me."

Oscar chuckled. "Don't worry about it, my dear. At least you made it to the end. _That_ is something to be proud of."

She smiled at his comment and took hold of his hand. "I suppose so. Thank you Oscar."

He then leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Anytime, my love."

She then leaned into his side and he put her arm around her. They sat like that until Helena covered her face and embarrassingly exclaimed, "Oh Oz, here it comes…"

* * *

"_Sweeper comes around again, starting to move upwards, but Morrible jumps…"_

"_**(WHACK!)**__ Oh! __**(PLAF!)**__ Buh...__**(SPLASH!)**__"_

Everybody in the Amphitheater jumped and let out a great big, "OH!" right when the Headmistress' face met the pedestal. Even the five friends winced watching the event unfold before them. Fiyero shook his head, saying, "You know, no matter what you think of Morrible, _that _was a horrific wipeout."

Each of his friends nodded agreed.

"_Look at the bright side, John: that wipeout won't affect her sunny disposition…since she didn't have one in the first place."_

Each of the five friends laughed, agreeing with that statement too.

"_**(WHACK!)**__ SQUEAL! __**(SPLASH!)**__"_

"_Oh and Shen Shen eats it big time with a huge spinning Wipeout!"_

"_Which means Boq "The Munchkin" Riddle wins the thousand dollar bonus!"_

Galinda leaned over and gave Boq a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. Fiyero slapped him on the back. "Way to go, buddy."

The whoops and hollers started again and the townspeople even started chanting Boq's name in congratulations for his win. He stood up and took a bow.

After a few commercials, the hosts returned to the screen. Everybody chuckled nervously as the Bruiseball round was described. Elphaba turned around and giggled when she saw Nessa's face: the brunette's jaw was wide open and eyes wide in shock. She pointed to the screen and said, "That's impossible. That's just impossible."

Fiyero chuckled. "You have no idea."

"_Hey, look: it's the first time Boq's gotten to First Base with Galinda!"_

"_It must be love, John."_

"_Of course it is. Can't you just feel it?"_

Everybody laughed at Galinda and Boq's expense, causing the two lovebirds to blush with embarrassment. Even Nessa laughed, adding, "OK, now _that's _funny."

Everybody continued to watch as the six contestants made their way through the Bruiseball course. The crowd cheered when Fiyero tagged home plate first, and laughed when Morrible blurted out, _"ENOUGH WITH THE (censored) HEAD SHOTS!"_ When the second round of Bruiseball started, everybody was sitting with anticipation wondering who else was going to move on to "The Wipeout Zone". Everybody sat intently up until the point where…

"_Uh oh, Shen Shen is still by the "Dizzy Dummy". She's not looking too good…"_

"_Hugggg…(BARF!)"_

…and that's when everybody turned away from the screen. Murmurs went through the Amphitheatre as each of them reacted with disgust at Shen Shen's misfortune. Even Boq said, "Poor Shen Shen."

Galinda was surprised, as she knew he really didn't get along with Shen Shen. "You really mean that?"

He smiled a wicked smile. "Not really."

"_Boq immediately starts running to Second…__**(THWACK!)…**__Oh, get's hit by a "Wild Pitch" below "The Equator"…"_

"_**(WHACK!)**__ Ooh…__**(CRUNCH!)**__"_

Everybody winced watching Boq land on the Bouncing Base Path, and chuckled uneasily as they heard Fiyero (on-screen) say, _"There goes his family life."_

Galinda protested. "That's not true. His 'family life' is just fine!"

"GALINDA!" Boq squeaked out embarrassed. Galinda looked around at her friends who were staring at her dumbfounded. That's when she blushed and realized she'd said too much.

The audience cheered as Boq tagged the plate, and also watched intently as they saw Galinda and Elphaba both jump for the plate…

"_Both women hit the Plate, but the umpire is calling Elphaba safe! It was so close, John – we will have to go to replay on this one to verify who got to the Plate first!"_

Both Galinda and Elphaba were surprised. "Wow," Elphaba started. "It really _was_ that close. I thought I had you beat."

"Me too."

Everybody let out a cheer when the four finalists were announced and sat with anticipation through the commercials for the beginning of the Wipeout Zone. Once they came back from commercials, Galinda turned to Nessa and said, "You thought the last round was bad, wait until you see this!"

All who were gathered watched as the hosts described the different obstacles in the Wipeout Zone: the Dreadmill, Gut Busters, Sini-Stairs, Crankshaft, Blades of Fury, and the Beater Totter. An uneasy murmur wafted through the crowd. Even Boq, Galinda and Fiyero were in awe of the obstacles they had to face.

Then, the screen showed Madame Morrible standing at the start of the Dreadmill launch, saying, "_Okay, Helena…you can do this. There isn't a challenge you've shied away from yet._"

"Wow – who would have thought that Morrible would be afraid of something," Boq said in amazement, eliciting confirming nods from his friends.

The audience watched as Morrible moved across the Gut Busters, and taking a beating as the fourth Gut Buster bounced up and down. They watched as she took the Sini-Stairs in two tries, tackle the Gauntlet and finish the Zone. The crowd broke out in a round of applause for Morrible's Wipeout Zone run.

Then the scene changed to Jill and Fiyero at the start of the Wipeout Zone:

"_Congratulations – you've made it to the Wipeout Zone."_

"_Thank you. It looks pretty ominous from here."_

"_Oh, it's nothing that a...handsome, hunky, good looking, sexy, scandalous Winkie Prince can't handle. So, like…what are you doing after the show?"_

Elphaba was somewhat seething at what she saw on the screen. "Unbelievable. Throughout the show, she's done nothing but makes moves on my man. Why I oughta…"

Fiyero grabbed her hand. "No, Elphaba, you will _not_ go back and turn her into a frog!"

"_Oh, a perfectly executed jump, John."_

"_Absolutely! He hit that trampoline right in the sweet spot and got great distance off of it. That should set him up to the Gut Busters in great time."_

"Very graceful, dude," Boq joked, eliciting a sarcastic smile from Fiyero.

Everybody watched with anticipation as Fiyero continued through the Wipeout Zone; all hoping that he would beat Morrible's time. However, the crowd grew restless as Fiyero's time came close to Morrible's.

"_He needs to hurry over the Blades of Fury for any chance to win…"_

"_**(WHACK!)**__ Nooo… __**(SPLASH!)**__"_

"_Oh! Prince Charming is knocked off by the Blades of Fury…**(Horn Sounds!)**…and the horn sounds, signifying that he is knocked out of the competition."_

Everybody gasped when they realized Fiyero was out of the competition. Fiyero himself shook his head. "I rushed that ending too much – I figured I didn't have much time left, so I tried to hurry it up but ended up losing concentration."

Elphaba leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm still proud of you – you're still my 'Prince Charming'."

He kissed her back in response. "Thanks, Fae. You're the best."

After commercials, the crowd cheered once again as Boq was shown in the Dreadmill launch.

"_(runs) (jump) Whaaa…(small bounce) Ooof… __**(SPLASH!)**__"_

"_Oh, not a great jump off of the Dreadmill, John."_

"Oh yeah…_real_ graceful there, Boq," Fiyero mocked, getting a shove back from Boq.

Galinda watched in horror as Boq was getting beat up on the Gut Busters.

"_Oh! He is just getting totally beat up on that third platform! With his size, we should rename this obstacle to the "Everything" Buster!"_

"Oh, that is horrendous!" she exclaimed.

"Trust me, I _felt _like everything was getting busted," Boq replied, which elicited an "aww" from Galinda and a kiss on the cheek.

However, as Boq's run through the Wipeout Zone progressed, everybody gasped at each fall. They all watched as his time, like Fiyero's, was getting close to Morrible's. The audience let out a collective gasp when…

_(HORN SOUNDS!)_

"…_and our Munchkin Boq comes up short as he is unable to beat Morrible's time…"_

…and the audience gasped again when Boq continued his run.

"_I'm FINISHING __**(PLAF!)**__ this course __**(PLAF!) **__no matter what!"_

Fiyero and Elphaba were absolutely surprised. "No way!" they said at the same time.

Nessa was just as dumbfounded. "You mean you kept going?"

Galinda's jaw dropped. "You didn't tell me you kept going!"

Boq just shrugged. "It was nothing. I just wanted to finish the course."

Their conversation was cut short when the audience applauded Boq's run. Again, they started chanting his name and he waved back to everybody in acknowledgement. Finally, it was time to show Galinda's turn through the Wipeout Zone. Galinda was bouncing up and down with excitement. Fiyero laughed out loud. "Why are you bouncing? You already know the outcome."

Galinda smiled. "I _know_ that…it's just exciting to watch – that's all."

They watched as Galinda approached the Gut Busters…

_**(PLAF!) (PLAF!)**__ Ooh! __**(PLAF!)**__ Ow! __**(PLAF!)**__ OW! __**(PLAF!)**__ OWIE! __**(PLAF!)**_

"_Again, the Gut Buster giving our contestant a ride…golden hair bouncing…dress bouncing…"_

"…_contestant bouncing…"_

Elphaba chuckled. "For a second there, I thought they were going to talk about something else bouncing."

Galinda nodded. "I know. They were never the same for days afterwards!" Elphaba face-palmed at Galinda's response, Nessa shook her head, and the two men just laughed.

"_Here she goes again."_

"_I'm not worried. I don't think she has what it takes."_

Morrible's response to Jill's comment elicited "oooooh"s from the crowd. Galinda bristled at the comment, and Boq could feel her tense up. He grabbed his hand and said, "Don't worry, sweetheart – we already know who has the last laugh."

She looked at him and, realizing he was right, relaxed, smiled, and kissed him. "You're right. We _do_ know who has the last laugh."

Everybody watched as Galinda approached the Crankshaft…

"_Unlike the other three contestants, it looks like she's studying the Crankshaft to figure out how to get past it."_

"_Wow. I didn't know she could use that blissfully blonde brain of hers."_

Morrible's second disparaging comment received some "oooooh"s and a few boos from the audience. The five friends shook their heads, with Nessa saying, "What a bitch."

"No kidding," Fiyero replied. "I'm glad you kicked her butt, Glin."

"Me too," Galinda replied through gritted teeth.

_(Beater Totter suddenly shifts…)_

"_(SLIP!) Whoaaa…NO YOU DON'T!"_

The audience let up a huge cheer as the screen showed Galinda grabbing onto the Beater Totter and not falling in. "Nice save!" both Boq and Fiyero said at the same time. However, Galinda wasn't listening to them – she was smiling ear to ear as she approached the end of her run…

"…_and she's done it! She's beaten Morrible's time! Galinda Upland has won Wipeout!"_

"_Hey Galinda…guess what? You just won Wipeout!"_

"_(shocked) WHAT?"_

"_(enthusiastically) YOU'VE WON WIPEOUT! YOU JUST WON FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! "_

The crowd cheered and applauded Galinda's win. She stood and waved as they chanted her name. As soon as the show was over, and after a number of townspeople chatted with the contestants, the five friends stayed by the Amphitheatre by themselves. Nessa rolled forward to the middle of the group, and, taking her plastic glass of wine, said, "Cheers guys. Here's to the 'Wipeout Warriors'; to Boq for winning not only one thousand dollars but everybody's heart; and to Galinda for being 'Wipeout Champion'."

They all raised their glasses/cans and clinked them all together, saying "hear, hear". After taking the ceremonial swig, Galinda spoke: "Well, that was fun."

Elphaba nodded. "I don't think I'd want to do that again, though."

Boq then spoke up: "Hey, I heard about a race around Oz for a million bucks. You just need a partner…"

"NO!" they all cried in unison.

He shrugged and smiled. _Ah well, just a thought._

_

* * *

_

**THE END. **

**GOODNIGHT, AND BIG BALLS!**


End file.
